tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85352897870190623852024-03-13T12:31:07.203-07:00beauty from asheswarrior. brave. bold. relentless.Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.comBlogger484125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-27582606788877276122017-06-30T09:10:00.002-07:002017-06-30T09:10:32.644-07:00Because I'm being honest...<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's a song called "If We're Being Honest" by Francesca Battistelli which talks about exactly what the title says- being honest.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being honest with ourselves. Hiding behind the things which have us broken. Like if we hide in the darkness instead of coming out into the light, then maybe we don't have to face it? Or maybe it's easier to sit behind it because this world tells us we deserve happiness. We deserve feel good things- like new cars, new clothes, vacations, a life filled with sunny days. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Positive vibes only kinda deal. Which don't get me wrong, no one likes a debbie downer - but it's also unrealistic to think we won't face struggles or periods of darkness. And it is EASY to make it look like we've got it together. We are livin' the dream. We are doing just </span><i style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">fine</i><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just fine? When the reality is we are crumbling inside. We are barely hanging on by a thread. We are drowning. We are living a nightmare, pretending it's just a dream. And I'd rather be better than just fine.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Why is it we shy away from the uncomfortable topics? We gloss over the pain? Or we hide from the things that are silently killing us? Yet, we love telling and sharing the good times. Like it's taboo if we are struggling?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Why aren't we being honest? With ourselves? With each other? With our Father?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In 2009, when I walked through depression & a miscarriage I shared and blogged in this little space. Shared as much I could but more for myself. In 2012, when I walked through post partum I can't remember how much I shared because honestly I felt like I shouldn't be complaining because I was a mother. Which so many others want and how selfish of me to complain? Once I broke free in October 2012 from that I also shared. In the 17 months my mom fought cancer, I shared. I poured my heart before Christ and felt incredibly peace. Those 17 months were some of the sweetest in my journey with Christ. Then my mom passed. All was well and I sailed through the first year. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Year one, which everyone warns you about. They say it's the hardest and maybe it is for some, but that wasn't the case for me. Year one, I felt relief and at peace. I felt thankful my mom was no longer suffering. I felt God knows best and of course you don't question His ways. I mean I know what His Word says, I know His ways are greater, higher. All those things.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then I found myself in year two. Silence. Only crickets. I forged through to finish Bible school but truthfully, wasn't really into what I was studying. It was more of a "job" than the love relationship I had before. I was tired. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Because I am being honest and because I never want anything to think a girl who shouted His praises from the mountaintops is perfect or a saint- I am not. I am just like you, the girl or guy next door, and I am human- still flesh and bones.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have only attended church ONE Sunday this whole year. I have maybe picked up my Bible a total of 3x to just read and sit in His presence. I can't really tell you the last time I prayed. Like poured out my heart before Him. Not the quick prayer before dinner or before I drift off to sleep.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And if I'm completely honest- I am indifferent. Numb would probably be the best word to describe it. I'm not angry necessarily, but definitely sad. Maybe even depressed based on all the sleeping I've been doing. Which I hate because I told myself I would never go back to that place. But this time, it's different because it's not the same horrible place I was before. The place I fought so hard to be freed from.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's the realization that this is my life. I can't pick up the phone or run home to my mom to help me fight my battles. I can't have her speak truth into the dark places of my life. I can't her pray over me for deliverance. That I can't send my child to her when I'm feeling overwhelmed. That I can't call her to help me "get it together!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While I'd love to say all the things I know like: "He makes all things new." "It's just a season." "It will get better." "Beautiful things come out of our brokenness." </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">The truth is it doesn't diminish the pain. It doesn't change that my mom died. Or that it's been five years and not one single positive pregnancy test. It doesn't change the hurt.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It doesn't change this is my reality. Of course, I want to walk every season no matter how hard or uncomfortable it is but I also think He doesn't expect us to pretend it's easy. Because so far there isn't anything easy about this life and I know lots of people that face harsh realities.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He tells us to expect trials and suffering. No where, no where in His Word does it tell me "you deserve happiness." It does tell me to have joy, but joy can only come through Him. And joy is something that must be grow within us. It's a fruit of the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-23) It must be pruned, watered, and nourished in order to flourish. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Yes, I realize this is just a season and on the horizon there are great things. Yes, I realize it's only a season. It will get better or easier. Or whatever all the things people so lovingly tell you. But while I'm being honest- those things don't help. They don't make things better. Or fix my gaping hole that exist in my heart and life.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One thing I've learned is showing up is way better than words. Just show up to help those who are hurting. Just.show.up.<i> </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Probably the most beautiful thing of being honest, is He already knows. Yet, He still pursues me anyway. That I don't have to feel guilty or bad because His love for me isn't about what I do or don't do. He loves me simply because I am His. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">There is no checklist or score board He keeps. Truth be told, He knew during this season I would run or hide. Because He knows me. Which is what I loved about my mom, she just knew and would show up.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But isn't He the same? Throwing us a life raft, throwing us a rope, throwing us a place to catch our breath? We just have to be willing to pay attention. We have to be willing to share with Him in our sufferings. Sometimes I think it's easier to sit in our pain than to deal with it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: helvetica neue, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Because we're taught: "God is good." "All things happen for reason." "All things work for the greater good." I mean aren't believers supposed to cling to what is good? Yes, but that doesn't mean we don't struggle. Or we don't stand in the fire and not feel the heat. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's nothing I want more than for us to being more real and vulnerable in our struggles. To stop pretending. To stop hiding behind the highlight reels. <i>To know it's okay to struggle, to voice your struggles, and to know there is nothing we can do or not do that makes us any less perfect in His eyes. </i>There's not one disciple in the Bible that didn't struggle, doubt, or question what in the world is going on? I mean God asked them to do some pretty questionable things and faced some pretty awful things. Fire, lions dens, belly of a whale, chains, prison, even death. There's an entire book written on lamenting. And Psalm is filled with songs of despair. Yet, we fear sharing in our struggles. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When we're honest and share in our struggles, it allows others to be honest and share. It changes the conversation and narrative of our lives. It allows Him to carry our brokenness...it allows our brothers and sisters to help carry us. It frees us from that thing that we're carrying. It allows us to live by His strength vs our own.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"There is freedom when we lay our secrets down at the cross."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span><span style="font-family: helvetica neue, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Regardless what I feel or how I act or what I do- nothing changes who I am in Christ. Nothing. So while I waffle in this season, I know being honest is more than enough. Maybe that's all He wants anyway- honest, vulnerable, broken Nancy. Nothing more, nothing less. For His yoke is easy and his burden light. And that's enough for me. Enough for me to know I don't have to be strong or portray I am. As Paul said, I too will boast in my weakness so the power of Christ may rest upon me, for when I am weak, I am strong.</span><br />
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Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-76596540723129867282017-04-14T12:05:00.001-07:002017-04-14T16:32:14.835-07:00A Different Kind of Easter<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's Friday, but Sunday is coming. For years, I've always looked forward to Easter. It's the fun and joyous part of Easter, right? Such a gift we've been freely given.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is the first year I haven't prepared at all for Easter. April came in like gangbusters with all kinds of fires I've been trying to put out. So I have not one decoration up, not one Easter basket item bought, not a single outfit bought or thought of. As I think to myself to get these things done, I'm quickly convicted. The Spirit whispers to me, "this Easter can be different and it's okay! I want you to experience Me, not the things of Easter."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">None of the above disqualifies me from Easter. Actually, if anything this Easter is teaching me that this, this lowly and sanctified life is way more like Easter than the way I've always done it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I think about my childhood Easters and what they looked like. They were filled with wonderful memories. Egg hunts, family, the most perfect of Easter basket (gift giving was my mama's love language), pretty outfits, and ham. They were delightful. They were fun. They were good. All things I wish for my family, but in this season of life I'm feeling less than adequate to throw together a picture worthy Easter. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So what happens when your Good Friday doesn't feel so good? Or when life doesn't look as if you'd imagined or hoped?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Easter was my mom's favorite holiday. It was also around her birthday. April was a month, I always looked forward to because of the celebrations it consisted of. It was like spring saying, "I am here and it's a new season." New seasons feel like a fresh start and who doesn't love a fresh start? This year, I have been bummed about how things have gone and honestly just weary. We always gathered at my parents for Easter and now we have no plans. In just a few short years, my life has been completely rearranged in terms of holidays. It looks different and honestly the holidays are a visible reminder of the pain my family has faced over the last few years.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"At the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" - which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"</i> Mark 15:33</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Leading up Jesus' death, it was a hard road. A road with much suffering. There was grief, sorrow, doubt, weeping, and even feelings that his Father had forsaken him. While this week or leading up to Easter hasn't been the usual planning or excitement in years past, it's been one that has my spirit wrestling in ways that has led me to sit at His feet, rather than rush around them. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is one that has caused me to feel the pain and hurt that this world brings. It is one that has me stripping away the nonsense, forcing me to focus on only Him. It is one that doesn't feel good, but that doesn't mean it isn't good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's forced me to focus on the suffering of Christ and not just the resurrection. As believers, we love the resurrection part. The rising up of life. We love the Sunday of Easter because it's a celebration. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But how often do we overlook the Friday before and what it means to us? To us, individually. Or even the church for that matter. <i>How often do we skip the hard, painful parts to get to the glory part?</i> This Easter, I don't want to skip the brutal reality of Good Friday. Yes, Sunday is coming but there was much that happened before than. I recently read something that I keep thinking about: <i>"We all want to go to heaven, but none of us want to die." </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Isn't that the truth? Kind of like we all want faith, but don't want to work for it. Or we all want to be blessed, but don't want to open our Bibles. We want resurrection Sunday, without the Good Friday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Christ came to the earth as the Son of God- clothed in flesh. He came so He could know exactly what it would be like for us here while we walked the earth. His flesh poured out for us. So when He would redeem us on that Sunday, He would have already experienced every thing his children might experience.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Scripture tell us he was a man of sorrow and acquainted with grief. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But oh how we love to put on our brave faces. And decorate our homes and hearts, even when the closets are filled with such mess and clutter. Filled to the brim with things no one even knows, yet He does know. We are only cheating ourselves when we don't let him into the darkest places of our lives. Maybe it's in the lowliest and yuckiest places of our lives, He loves us to meet us at, not at the picture worthy tablescapes or to do list.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We decorate with lovely things from Hobby Lobby, beautiful things from Target or HomeGoods and set the table just perfectly for all to see. A celebration fit for a King. Or if we're being honest, it's really for ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I love pretty tablescapes and things, but that is not what God is after. And if I'm being honest, my mom's house is still filled to the brim with things she did not take with her. They are simply that- things that occupy space. None of those things bring Him glory.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've been criticized for being too open and honest. For putting too much out there. But here's the thing, we are all broken. We all issues. We all have hurts. We all have cluttered closets full of things that Jesus carried for us so we wouldn't have to hide or carry them ourselves.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Jesus cannot redeem the things in which you don't give Him. Jesus cannot heal the broken places in your lives, if you aren't willing to hand them over to Him. Jesus cannot raise the broken to life without you giving Him that part of your life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He already did the work on that good Friday so many years ago. Now it's up to us to do our part. To come to table to experience His grace. To pull up a chair and sit with Him. To lay down our hurts. To come to Him- broken and falling apart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He never expects us to get it together first, then come to Him. We aren't capable of getting it together anyway. Only He redeems, restores, and heals. Only He lifts raises the dead to life. <i>We only get to partake in the goodness of what this days brings. And thankfully, we don't have to wait until Easter or Sunday to experience His resurrecting power. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Good Friday. A day filled with pain, sorrow, and death. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There was not an Easter decoration in sight, an Easter hunt to be had, or the perfect outfit picked out. Those who crucified Christ actually tore up his clothes so they could divide it amongst themselves. Casting lots to see what they would get.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's in our pain, which we can learn the characteristic of Christ. It's in our closets, where when we clean them out, He can fill them with holy redemption. Removing the lies, hurts, and sorrows- replacing them with truths that free us. It's where Good Friday becomes a manifestation of the sacrifice poured out on that very day. </span><br />
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<i><span class="reftext" style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #aa4400; font-family: "arimo" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-weight: 700; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: text-top;">3</span><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: "arimo" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify;">He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. </span><span class="reftext" style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #aa4400; font-family: "arimo" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-weight: 700; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: text-top;">4</span><span class="highl" style="background-color: #fff4ec; color: #001320; font-family: "arimo" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify;"><a href="http://biblehub.com/hebrew/403.htm" style="color: #008cea; text-decoration-line: none;" title="403. 'aken (aw-kane') -- surely">Surely</a> <a href="http://biblehub.com/hebrew/2483.htm" style="color: #008cea; text-decoration-line: none;" title="2483. choliy (khol-ee') -- sickness">our griefs</a> <a href="http://biblehub.com/hebrew/1931.htm" style="color: #008cea; text-decoration-line: none;" title="1931. huw' (hoo) -- he, she, it">He Himself</a> <a href="http://biblehub.com/hebrew/5375.htm" style="color: #008cea; text-decoration-line: none;" title="5375. nasa' (naw-saw') -- to lift, carry, take">bore,</a> <a href="http://biblehub.com/hebrew/4341.htm" style="color: #008cea; text-decoration-line: none;" title="4341. mak'ob (mak-obe') -- pain">And our sorrows</a> <a href="http://biblehub.com/hebrew/5445.htm" style="color: #008cea; text-decoration-line: none;" title="5445. cabal (saw-bal') -- to bear (a heavy load)">He carried;</a> <a href="http://biblehub.com/hebrew/587.htm" style="color: #008cea; text-decoration-line: none;" title="587. 'anachnuw (an-akh'-noo) -- we">Yet we ourselves</a> <a href="http://biblehub.com/hebrew/2803.htm" style="color: #008cea; text-decoration-line: none;" title="2803. chashab (khaw-shab') -- to think, account">esteemed</a> <a href="http://biblehub.com/hebrew/5060.htm" style="color: #008cea; text-decoration-line: none;" title="5060. naga' (naw-gah') -- to touch, reach, strike">Him stricken,</a> <a href="http://biblehub.com/hebrew/5221.htm" style="color: #008cea; text-decoration-line: none;" title="5221. nakah (naw-kaw') -- to smite">Smitten</a> <a href="http://biblehub.com/hebrew/430.htm" style="color: #008cea; text-decoration-line: none;" title="430. 'elohiym (el-o-heem') -- God, god">of God,</a> <a href="http://biblehub.com/hebrew/6031a.htm" style="color: #008cea; text-decoration-line: none;" title="6031a">and afflicted.</a> </span><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: "arimo" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify;"></span><span class="reftext" style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #aa4400; font-family: "arimo" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-weight: 700; line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: text-top;">5</span><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: "arimo" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify;">But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed.…</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's where we can seek refuge in Him. It's where we can declutter and rearrange in such a way that is good. It's where He heals us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On a not so good Friday, you allow yourself to the feel the pain or grief. You give yourself grace. You take your weary and burdened soul to Him and you lay it down. You lift up your face. You go home to the only One who knows what you are feeling. You fall into the One who carried your brokenness and nailed to a tree, in order to set you free. You allow yourself to be okay with the lack of decorations, Easter outifts, and your shortcomings. And you let yourself sit at the table with Him, instead of the ham & fresh baked rolls. You get real with yourself and hand over the cluttered you've been hiding away. Then you break bread with Him and drink from His cup, the one which never runs dry and you eat the bread which was broken for you. You offer up the only thing which you have- whether it be your broken heart, marriage, addiction, sin, your anger, or your pride and y</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ou let Him rearrange and spread His unfailing love upon the walls of your broken heart & sin. You remember the suffering in which He endured on that Good Friday. & you remember that it's Friday, and Sunday is coming.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That this season won't last forever, but while it lasts you don't want to waste the very thing in which He is doing. You might not do the things you've done before, and that's okay because of the sacrifice on the Cross. The crucifixion should force us to change and transform us. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But He can't resurrect what we aren't willing to nail to the Cross. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We can't experience life without death and we can't experience Him without the Cross. </span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">God’s way is always the way of suffering— the way of the “long road home.” Not to punish us but to transform us. Letting go of the old and creating us anew. </span></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We don't have to be brave, because He was and is brave for us. Just as we should never stop sharing His story of the Cross, we should never stop sharing what He has done for us in our own lives: transforming and redeeming. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Holy redemption where earth has no sorrow, that Heaven can't heal. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Let <i>all</i> that hinders us from experiencing His resurrecting power be tossed to the side, just as easily as we toss the eggs out on the lawn. Instead of gathering eggs this Sunday, may we gather His truths and goodness and pin them on our hearts for the days and weeks to come. May we experience Christ in such a way that transforms us into the people He died for.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">People of broken, weary places- raised to life through death. People who drink from His cup rather than the worlds. People who allow their brokenness to be a nailed to the tree, in exchange for freedom. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Transformed in the way of a Cross. Arms stretched</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> out. Exchanging sorrow for life. Broken and free. Written and redeemed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's no other way I'd want to live on this Good Friday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Broken, yet free. Dirty, yet clean.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Perhaps not feeling so Easter-y this year is just what my heart needed to understand the sacrifice of the Cross. To transform my broken to life. To fill my heart, instead of my basket. To know and feel the greatness of a man who without knowing I'd follow Him,<i> would still </i>die and carry my sorrows and grief. To experience true redemption. Again and again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And that my friends, is what makes today good. Even when it didn't feel good and He felt forsaken, He still carried out the task before Him saying, "it is finished." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Redeeming mankind. Redeeming every square inch of our broken, tattered lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My hope for you this Easter is you experience His grace like never before. That the walls you've built up around you, are torn down. That the clutter that consumes your mind would be replaced with sweet whispers from His spirit. That you would come to the Jesus who longs to dwell in that space- transforming you. Setting you free.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That today or the Cross isn't wasted. That even when life isn't good, you know He is still good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Instead of rushing around getting things done for Easter, I hear Him saying, "come as you are, Nancy. For earth has no sorrow, that heaven can't heal. I carried your transgressions so you didn't have to, so lay them down." Instead of stressing over the to-do list or Easter baskets or outfits, this Easter you can find me at His blood stained feet, letting Him pour over me. Laying it down, once and for all. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That's the most beautiful thing about our Savior...He never rushes around or keeps busy, instead He waits for us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">May He be lifted high as we lay down our burdens. May our life be a song that sings of His goodness, even in the places & days/seasons that aren't so good. May our Easter be more about His goodness than the things of Easter. May He helps us be brave enough to endure the Good Fridays in our lives. Transforming us into what He wills vs what we will. Redeeming us for His future glory. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">May His crimson blood pour over us, wa</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">shing us clean of the clutter and messes we've made of ourselves. <i>May the Cross beckon "welcome home" on this heart of mine.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've never been more grateful for a different kind of Easter or for my not so Good Friday.</span>Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-19938140528270116942017-03-12T12:41:00.001-07:002017-03-13T08:43:54.729-07:00Paper Pregnant <span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After almost two years of announcing, we are finally in the process of ADOPTING! We are a few months in and we hope by summer to be logged in to the China's welfare system.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes, China. A sweet baby girl on the other side of the world, we are praying is our daughter</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Time kind of stood still for us as we put things on hold as my mom's health declined. Then it took some time for me to come out of the fog and for God to make a way. With anything, we want to rush things or see things happen now - but with God's plans you have to just learn to roll with the punches.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I also think it takes time in our hearts and minds to fully understand exactly what He is asking us to do. Like, you want to me do?! Go where?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm going to do this sort as a Q&A to help answer some questions we've gotten from others:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><b>So, why adoption?</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For us, it is a calling. It is a personal choice between us and the Lord above. Something we felt He has put upon our hearts. Many years ago, I attended a ladies group where we read "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. I was a new mom and honestly adoption was far from my mind. I came home and mentioned adoption to AB, kind of just in passing. I didn't put much thought into because honestly I didn't think he would go for it. It wasn't something we had ever even discussed. To my surprise, AB didn't flinch when he said "yeah, let's adopt a girl from China." We kind of left our conversation at that, thinking we would have another baby before going forward with adoption. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So the short answer: We feel God has called us to add to our family through adoption. And I haven't gotten pregnant in the last five years and so we feel now is the time! Plus, Brady is more than ready to have a sibling!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><b>Why not just have another kid? Or do IVF?</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, because God has other plans. I never imagined not having another baby. I just assumed like most of my family, you do things in x,y,z order. I mean you graduate, get married, have kids (few years apart), and you live happily ever after. Am I right? Wrong, again. I have learned that the life I have pictured in my head, is totally NOT the life God has planned for me</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. God knew exactly what was to come after I had Brady and I'm so thankful that I didn't have a baby in the mix of my mom's sickness. Also, I didn't think much about having a baby while my mom was sick the last two years. Now looking back, I know God was using that time to prepare my heart for adoption.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes, we could do IVF instead of pursuing adoption, but we don't feel that's for us. It's not even something we've ever really even discussed. We have discussed and looked into private domestic adoption and foster to adopt. For whatever reason, we still feel drawn to international adoption, specifically China. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><i>How long will the process take?</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Our hope is to be done SOON with the home study portion. After that is completed we will work on completing our dossier. Once our dossier is to China (DTC) and we are logged in over there, our agency can start the matching process. The matching process could take anywhere from 6-9 months. Once we are matched, we'll get ready for travel. Our hope is to travel to China late spring, early summer of 2018.</span><br />
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<i style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Isn't it expensive? Why not just adopt here?</b></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes. Very much so. To the tune of a car actually. We're expecting to pay anywhere from $30-35,000 (this includes travel, including Brady). Considering we feel like it's our child, we can't just walk away because it is costly. To us, following Jesus means costing us everything if that's what He ask of us. We did consider adopting domestically through the welfare system in Texas. After much consideration, conversations, and meetings we didn't feel that was for us. Private adoptions here in the states are also very expensive with a lot of parameters we didn't feel fit our family needs. We still haven't ruled out expanding our family that way in the future, but for now international adoption is where we are and we're excited to see how God works through what really seems impossible. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We are anxious, excited, scared, and over the moon that we will be adding to our family soon! Adoption is definitely a trying process, but we know God is ever so faithful and we are trusting Him to bring us through difficult process. We ask for your prayers more than anything as we wrestle through the massive amount of paperwork, fundraising, and preparing our heart for what is to come. My prayer and hope is that God redeems so much of the devastation in my life through this process and adoption.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Speaking of fundraising, I have been working on a project for nearly FIVE years. Okay, the last 4 years it was simply a vision God gave me. It's taken me that long to submit to this or maybe He needed that time to lay the groundwork. Either way, I have set up an Etsy shop called <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/drybonesliving" target="_blank">DryBonesLiving</a> where I will sell handcrafted monsters. Each monster has been pieced together by me and there will never be one like another. All unique and different, flawed just a little - just the way Christ made us. I'll slowly be adding monsters to the shop as times goes on, but I'd love for you to share & follow me on Instagram @drybonesliving - the name Dry Bones is based on Ezekiel 37, where God can breathe new life into us, creating us anew and renewed. That's how I view adoption. These babies are given a new life, a new hope, and are so loved. No matter what imperfections they might have or where they've come from or the hard places they've seen, Christ hopes to redeem them- bringing dry bones to life. Sitting them in a new land, with new hope and giving them a forever family. Just as He as adopted us into His Sonship. The money from each monster sold will go directly into our adoption fund. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We're excited to share this journey and we covet your prayers during this time! Feel free to ask us any other questions you might have. :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-75691651203658138592016-12-02T12:09:00.002-08:002016-12-02T12:11:11.363-08:00Isaiah 61<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"His final breath upon the cross is now alive in me. </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">By your spirit, I will rise from the ashes of defeat. </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">In your name I come alive to declare your victory.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The resurrecting King is resurrecting me."</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">...Bind my wandering heart to thee. Even in the valleys...how can we keep from singing?! Isaiah 61 talks about how the Spirit of God was sent to bind up the brokenhearted. To proclaim freedom. To comfort all those who mourn. To proclaim the Lord's favor. Making beauty out of ashes. Dust. Made alive. That once was desolate, He would rebuild. It's one of my absolute favorite verses. Last December, I fasted for 3 days and He gave me Isaiah 61 to proclaim over my mom. We read it together. I read it daily while I poured out my heart to Him. I had no idea she'd pass a month later. I thought surely it's "the year of the Lord's favor"...2016 was sure to be the year she'd be a walking miracle. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #222222;">To be honest, I never thought my mom would die. No matter how grim the reports were or how much people told me I was "looney" or "disillusional" - I just never believed she would die.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the most profound things I was told when my mom was put on hospice was "it was a praise report, as believers to be going home to the Father. It's where we belong." Back home with our Father. Of course, it is sad and I miss my mom more than anything, but that has stuck with me now for almost a year.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In Christ, there is no death. He conquered death. Not even death can separate us from Him.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The fact that the air that is in my lungs is the very thing that He has breathed into me - blows me away.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">His breath in my lungs. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">His Spirit living and breathing inside me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Our hearts will cry, these bones will sing...great are you Lord."</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The fact that He formed me out of the dust of the ground. Breathing into my nostrils.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Overwhelms me in the most glorious way.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After my mom passed and I remembered the promise He gave me of Isaiah 61- I felt cheated. I felt like well this doesn't feel like the year of the Lord's favor. More like the worst year of my life.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I didn't understand. But I did trust. I trusted Him to do everything in Isaiah 61. Because I know when He makes a promise, He keeps His promise.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Also, if anyone was going to turn my mourning into gladness - it would have to be Him. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not by me, my husband, my family, or by any human hands.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The depth of grief would be too much for mankind. The wreckage too much for human repair.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Only Him.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Little by little, He has managed to do amazing things through my pain. Each piece requires effort on my part. I must let go for Him to work through it. I must sift through the ashes, uncovering each piece. Turning it over. Allowing Him to breathe new life into me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's been a struggle. For me- not Him. To carry my sorrows to the feet of Jesus is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I want to carry them for myself, fixing them for myself. In sharing them, requires I must feel them. Requires more sifting. More turning.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">More surrender.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It requires looking at myself in the mirror and owning up to the calamity, when I'd rather run. Or pick a vice to ease the pain. "Vice for a vice" is what I'm constantly telling myself.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It not Him, then what?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The funny thing is while yes this is partly about my mom - it's really not. None of this life is about anyone else other than Jesus.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He created me for His purpose and His purpose alone. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Because of Him, I will see my mom again one day. Because of Him, I know my mom will forever live. I carry her in my heart and feel her presence all around me. Until we meet again...as long as I have air in my lungs I will sing of His praises. I will walk through the fire, if it means it brings Him glory.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Consecrate</span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> us, oh Lord.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="text 1Pet-1-6" id="en-ESV-30364" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic;">In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-30364A" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-30364A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>various trials,</span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: italic;"> </span><span class="text 1Pet-1-7" id="en-ESV-30365" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 12px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">7 </span><i>so that <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-30365B" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-30365B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-30365C" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-30365C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>though it is tested by <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-30365D" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-30365D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>fire—may be found to result in <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-30365E" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-30365E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. </i> 1 Peter 1:6-7</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If it means, He is refining, purifying, and purging me of the things that weigh me down. Things that hinder me from being 100% committed to Him.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Only Him.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have written in my Bible "burn the fake straight out of me!" next to the above scripture. Being proven genuine and true is something I never want to get weary of.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And the good news is my mom is more alive than ever! As believers, we leave this earthly place to dwell in the Heavens. We live because He lives. This place was never meant to be our home. Our home is where He is. Living and breathing in us.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Scripture tell us, "He is our dwelling place." </span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No guilt in life. No fear in death.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So while I'm here on earth, I'll dwell in His presence. And for me, His presence is Heaven to me. It's where He breaths new life into what once was destroyed. It's where His glory meets my suffering.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Great, are you Lord. You alone make all things new.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Only You can redeem and restore our brokenness. Only You can resurrect.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Raising the dead to life. Turning ashes to beauty. Our sorrow to joy.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You alone carry our sorrows. You alone make beautiful things out of us.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Oh how can we keep from singing? You give life. You give hope. You are love. You restore. Great are you Lord! No matter what comes my way, as long as I have air in my lungs, I'll praise You, Lord. I've never been more thankful for the birth of Jesus than I am this year. I'm thankful that even in my brokenness, He is gentle and kind. That even when I can't see what He is doing, He is weaving something more beautiful than I could ever imagine. That His Word tells me that He has bottled every tear that I've shed. That it's in my brokenness that I'm fully able to catch a glimpse of Heaven, here on earth.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That His Spirit dwells in and over me. Renewing me day by day. Breath by breath.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">May we breathe in every ounce of His goodness this holiday season. Letting Him turn our ashes into beauty. Bringing dry bones to life. Surrendering ourselves for the sake of Him. That we may walk in the land of the living, rather than in our despair. So He can raise up the broken to life. For it's in the broken, we live. Fully live in the goodness of our Father & Keeper. From the ashes a new life is born, raising the broken to life.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Everlasting life.</span></div>
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<i style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12.8px;"><span class="text Ps-116-8" id="en-NIV-15857" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">For you, <span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-numeric: normal;">Lord</span>, have delivered me<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-15857N" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-15857N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> from death,</span></i></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="font-size: 12.8px;"><span class="indent-1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-116-8" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">my eyes from tears,</span></span></i></span></div>
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<i style="font-size: 12.8px;"><span class="indent-1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-116-8" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">my feet from stumbling,</span></span></i></div>
<span class="text Ps-116-9" id="en-NIV-15858" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; left: -4.4em; line-height: 22px; position: absolute; text-align: center; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">9 </span><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="color: #222222; font-size: 12.8px;"><span class="text Ps-116-9" id="en-NIV-15858" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">that I may walk before the <span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-numeric: normal;">Lord</span></span></i></div>
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<i style="color: #222222; font-size: 12.8px;"><span class="indent-1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-116-9" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">in the land of the living.</span></span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-size: 12.8px;"><span class="indent-1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-size: 16px;"><span class="text Ps-116-9" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">Psalm 116:8-9</span></span></span></div>
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Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-50416937538328079532016-04-11T23:47:00.001-07:002016-04-11T23:47:05.349-07:00Press On<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This morning I woke up with a heavy heart, missing my mom. I hadn't picked up Jesus Calling since January. My sister would read it to us & my mom during those last 3 weeks. It and My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers were the 2 devotionals my mom read everyday.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I decided to pick mine up this morning instead of my usual study. I also decided that instead of using homework & bible study homework as my quiet time, I would start reading through Philippians. Today's Jesus Calling spoke about not looking back or forward, but how to enjoy abundant life in His presence today & the best way to handle unwanted situations is to thank Him for them. Yes. Thank Him. Even when it hurts. Ouch. To rejoice for today.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But then the scripture reference...was the exact scripture I read at my mom's service. Phil 3:13-14. I snapped this picture & realized later that it had green in it. I wore green (her favorite color) at my mom's service. I have no idea where the green came from. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A year ago today, I had just arrived in Costa Rica for my first mission trip which is the coffee cup I grabbed this morning. Getting on the plane to CR was a huge test for me. My mom was in the hospital with a very serious infection and I heard Him clearly tell me, "you get on that plane." I had waffled back & forth if I would actually go on the trip. My mom insisted I go, but I feared if something would happen while I was gone. My friend/pastor assured me that we'd be close to the airport & if I needed to fly back, they'd get me on a plane asap.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It was a last minute decision if I would meet the rest of the group at the airport. My mom never wanted our lives to stop because of her illness, but let's get real- it's hard living "normal life" (whatever that is) when you think your mom could die. She said one of the things she always wanted to do was go on an international mission trip & she didn't want me to miss out. She wanted to live the experience through me...but yet I thought about what if something happens & I'm in another country.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I knew it was a test. A test, that I trusted God enough to get on that plane. That He had it handled. I'll never forget when I came into Houston Friday evening and went to MD Anderson to see my mom. She had just taken a shower, hair still wet. She loved & almost always showered before she went to bed. She had a light blue nightgown on that went to her ankles. She was sitting in a chair with her laptop in her lap. My brother on the couch next to her. She had the biggest smile. She looked like nothing was wrong. Like she was well. Healthy. She had just spent 5 days in the hospital. I'll never forget her sweet smile & face beaming when we walked into her room.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The best part was my friend/pastor told the rest of our group how well my mom doing, even after having Ebola. Hahaha! She had e.coli. but it gave us all a good laugh!</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The next morning, my dad and Allen drove us all to the airport and saw us off. While waiting to board the plane, I got a text saying they were discharging my mom that day. Home.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">I boarded that plane and looked out the window in awe of Him. The trip to Costa Rica was unforgettable experience. One I'll never forget and one that stirred my heart in so many ways.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">Actually last April was an unbelievable month for me. So many good things. I spent less than 10 days at home. I went to Costa Rica then Galveston then Marble Falls/Fredricksburg and spent lots of time in Houston for Easter & my mom's birthday.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">When they say so much can change in a year, they aren't kidding. This April doesn't have fun, exciting trips. And it will be first time I physically won't be able to celebrate with my mom on her birthday.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">I want to be sad and I am but what better place to have a birthday than Heaven? I am certain calories don't count there.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">While I am incredibly sad and at times the grief feels so heavy, I am so thankful for glimpses of His glory like this morning. For His faithfulness. For how He takes every detail into account. For how He loves us- even when I question or doubt His sovereignty and goodness. For the promise of Heaven because of His sacrifice on the Cross.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uyMGaJptpSI/VwyG06O3jEI/AAAAAAAB3DA/4Gsvq3AG3iIjuxfNWXkCTrLVr4Z_9ltwgCLcB/s1600/IMG_20150426_232016.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uyMGaJptpSI/VwyG06O3jEI/AAAAAAAB3DA/4Gsvq3AG3iIjuxfNWXkCTrLVr4Z_9ltwgCLcB/s640/IMG_20150426_232016.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Took this picture at the base of La Paz waterfalls in Costa Rica</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">That this world is only temporary. Praise the Lord. We are only here for a short time, a vapor, a mist.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">Learning to live after a loss is like learning to walk again. One of the last conversations my mom had with me was about how to go on after she goes home. Homeward to Christ Jesus. I often play over in my head her telling me, "Nancy, it's time to stand on your own two feet." She told me how I can and I will go on. That my faith is strong & it would only get stronger through this. That she's carried me for 33 years and given me the tools to carry on the rest of the way.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">I told her well that's all easy & good for you to say...</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Over Easter, I told my dad I was going to get him an "easy button" - do you remember those from the Staples commercial? Ha! Sadly, there's no such thing but what we do have is the hope of heaven. That we can press on towards the goal/prize. Which as believers, heaven is our goal/prize.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There's nothing that should and can compare to that. No more pain, no more suffering. No bad hair days.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Most days I feel like my thoughts are so jumbled and escaping the world is the greatest idea ever. I'm an introvert by default anyway so closing myself off to others is a-okay with me. And I just thought the whole dealing with the cancer part was hard.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But I know it won't be hard forever. This is a season. This is where God uses the broken parts of my life and restores them. Where God refines me.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Where God shows up on a Monday morning. The overflow of His presence. His presence is where He gives strength for the journey.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In the beginning of Philippians 3, Paul is explaining how there is no confidence in the flesh. He also says that he considers <b>all</b> things a loss, compared to surpassing worth of knowing Christ. All things. That he wants to know Christ in such a way- even participating in his suffering, "becoming like him in his death." He hasn't attained the prize yet but he will press onto it because he knows the greatest prize is to be in the presence or heavenward with Christ Jesus.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Paul wrote this from a prison cell. I'm writing this from my couch.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I want to understand. I want to be bitter. I want to crawl into a hole most days.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I also want to do this season well. I want to grieve well. I want to love well. And I want to serve Him well. Because I know He waste nothing and I don't want to miss out on Him while I'm attending my own posh pity-party...from my couch.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Paul said ALL things. It's in the dark places where we see God meet us like never before. And from the looks of my track record, He sure knows how to turn a test into a testimony. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Understanding is putting my confidence in the flesh, but trusting is putting my confidence in Him. Trusting that He has it handled. He handled it over 2000 years ago.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't have to understand to trust. I probably don't even need to understand for His ways are higher.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">Whatever prison cell you're sitting in, know He is faithful. There's not a place He'll take you that He hasn't already stood.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">That He will finish what He started.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">It's just up to me if I want to press on towards the goal to win the prize regardless of the weight I carry...when I know His burden is light.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">And when His goodness is like heaven to me on a weary Monday morning, I stand on my own two feet and press on, rejoicing for great is thy faithfulness.</span></span><br />
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<span class="text Phil-3-7" id="en-NIV-29429" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">7 </span>But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29429M" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29429M" title="See cross-reference M">M</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> for the sake of Christ.</span> <span class="text Phil-3-8" id="en-NIV-29430" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">8 </span>What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29430N" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29430N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29430O" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29430O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span><span class="text Phil-3-9" id="en-NIV-29431" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">9 </span>and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29431P" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29431P" title="See cross-reference P">P</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> but that which is through faith in<span class="footnote" data-fn="#fen-NIV-29431a" data-link="[<a href="#fen-NIV-29431a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">[<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians%203&version=NIV#fen-NIV-29431a" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #b34b2c; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top;" title="See footnote a">a</a>]</span> Christ—the righteousness<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29431Q" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29431Q" title="See cross-reference Q">Q</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> that comes from God on the basis of faith.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29431R" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29431R" title="See cross-reference R">R</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span> <span class="text Phil-3-10" id="en-NIV-29432" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">10 </span>I want to know<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29432S" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29432S" title="See cross-reference S">S</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29432T" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29432T" title="See cross-reference T">T</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> becoming like him in his death,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29432U" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29432U" title="See cross-reference U">U</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span> <span class="text Phil-3-11" id="en-NIV-29433" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">11 </span>and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29433V" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29433V" title="See cross-reference V">V</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> from the dead.</span></div>
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<span class="text Phil-3-12" id="en-NIV-29434" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">12 </span>Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29434W" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29434W" title="See cross-reference W">W</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> but I press on to take hold<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29434X" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29434X" title="See cross-reference X">X</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29434Y" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29434Y" title="See cross-reference Y">Y</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span> <span class="text Phil-3-13" id="en-NIV-29435" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">13 </span>Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29435Z" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29435Z" title="See cross-reference Z">Z</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> and straining toward what is ahead,</span> <span class="text Phil-3-14" id="en-NIV-29436" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">14 </span>I press on<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29436AA" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29436AA" title="See cross-reference AA">AA</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> toward the goal to win the prize<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29436AB" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29436AB" title="See cross-reference AB">AB</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> for which God has called<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29436AC" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29436AC" title="See cross-reference AC">AC</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> me heavenward in Christ Jesus.</span></div>
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<span class="text Phil-3-14" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">-Philippians 3:7-14</span></div>
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<br />Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-57175409278413127522016-02-11T11:43:00.001-08:002016-02-11T13:16:19.032-08:00the woman who gave me life<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are so many things to say and yet I'm almost at a loss for words. But I also don't want to forget the goodness in which Christ lavished on us so here goes...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thursday, January 28th in the wee hours of the morning, my loving mother and Brady's Mimi peacefully in her sleep went home to be with Jesus. Tomorrow will be two weeks, a whole two weeks. In ways it feels like she's been gone for so long, yet feels like it was yesterday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My sister woke me at 5am and said through tears, "Nancy, she's gone." I'll never forget that moment. Hours before we had been in my mom's office area, laughing between our tears as we scanned photos of my mom, listening to sad depressing songs mixed in with funny upbeat songs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thursday morning as a new day broke through...darkness to light, we sat with my mom. Tears filled our eyes as we missed her instantly. Yet, we knew that mom was in in the presence of our heavenly Father and what glory, oh sweet glory she was experiencing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Nothing can compare to the glory that will be revealed. {Romans 8:18}</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My mom loved the Lord with all her heart, mind, and soul. Her most favorite thing to do was worship. She listened to her worship music everyday as she got ready. You could hear it streaming from her bathroom every single time she got ready. There would be times in the hospital where the room would be filled with talking and then all of a sudden you'd see mom with her phone and music streaming out of it...her eyes closed, singing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We played worship music non-stop by our bedside during those 3 weeks she was home on hospice. It was a comfort for her, but also for us. Now my dad keeps the worship going in the bathroom as my he gets ready each day. And for me at home, worship music is never too far from where I am.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I find it so strange that whenever you experience such a devastating loss, that while your world stops, the world around you just keeps going, keeps spinning. In one way, it's good because it forces you to put one foot in front of the other but in another way you're trying to comprehend how does your world go on?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I remember telling Allen before my mom even passed..."how do you go on without your mom? There hasn't been a day in my life that I haven't had my mom."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But you do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's what my mom would want - she even told me "you will go on and yes, it will be hard but you'll do it and your faith will be stronger because of it. And you'll be better because of it."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I told her, "that's easy for you to say!" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But just like always...momma knows best and all. She knew me better than I knew myself. She was my biggest cheerleader. She believed in me and always pushed me to go after my dreams. She saw things in me that I never saw in myself. I remember her telling me from a very young age, that God would use me to do great things for the Kingdom. I really had no idea what that even meant, until now. She was my counselor and best friend.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thursday as the sun came up, I crawled in bed with her and had coffee with her one last time. We always loved our coffee time together. Due to the disease, my mom had stopped drinking coffee months ago, but she always asked me if I wanted to stop at Starbucks whenever we were out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was a very cold morning in Houston. Frost even on the ground. But the skies were so clear and blue and the sun warm. And STILL, not a breeze to be felt.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My beautiful mom looked as peaceful as she did the night before when I kissed her goodnight...just a few short hours prior.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As I look back on the days before her passing, I realize just how much God loves us. How He doesn't miss a single detail. How even though our prayers were answered differently than we had hoped, He is STILL good. Even that morning as I sat with her, the peace He gave us was almost tangible.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Of course, we were devastated by the fact that our mom physically would not be here, but at the same time we all felt relieved that she was free. That our prayers had been answered. His perfect will done.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Who are we to say we that we need more time with her? Or why didn't you heal her here?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'll be honest and say I did question through this and I did wonder, ask, and why?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Because I am STILL of the flesh, but the flesh is not where I fight my battles. Thankfully, I don't fight any of my battles...that's why He has given me His spirit. For me to be STILL so He can fight for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And that's where we win. When we realize death doesn't mean defeat. For my mom as a believer of Christ, she won the ultimate victory. To be reunited with Jesus.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Praise be to God.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the very first things my mom told us after she said she'll fight this but either way...if she's healed here or healed in Heaven - she wins! Sucks for us here if she goes but she wins! I think we even told her, geez thanks mom!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But she's right. And while it does suck here for us, we have to know that she won and there is no greater place to be than in the presence our of Father.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I mean I can't even imagine what it must be like to worship Him in heavenly places. I know how great it is here on earth, but that is nothing compared to what my mom is currently experiencing. I'm almost jealous and it only makes me more excited to be reunited with her one day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've thought a lot about death lately. And one thing that really gets me is why we view it as such a sad thing. I realize we're human and selfish and we want our family members here with us, but at the same time His word tells us, we shouldn't love this life even unto death. And death is simply a fact of life. It's unavoidable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We should want to be with Him, more than anything in this world.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When I think about my mom, I don't think about her dead- but alive! More alive than ever! Just the other day when I was crying, Brady (who just turned 4) said "mom, it's okay because now Mimi can walk without help and play, and she's all better."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I thought he is only 4 and gets it and he's so right. My mom isn't sick anymore. She hated being sick and not being able to do like she did before. My mom was always doing, cleaning, cooking, going, and doing some more. She made me look lazy most days, ha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"Your glory God is what our hearts long for...to be overcome by Your presence, Lord." </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thursday, January 28th will forever be etched in my mind, but not because of death. Yes, it's when my mom left her earthly home but when I focus on things that are eternal- it was my mom's home going. Back to where she belongs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He loves my mom more than any of us here on earth did and I have to know that His love is enough. He loves me just the same and because of that love, we have the promise of heaven.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">January 6th, when they told us we would go home on hospice my mom told us, "don't question what kind of love that is, if He chooses to take me home. Because that's the ultimate love..."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So that Thursday morning as we grieved for my mom, we also rejoiced for the great love He has lavished upon on us through this journey and continues to to this very moment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He has been SO good to us through it all. Even the hard places. Even on that Thursday morning when our world stopped.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We miss her terribly, but we know our troubles here are momentary. We know because of His great love we will get to see her again and oh what a glorious day that will be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My mom would never want us to remember her because of her death, but rather because of the beautiful soul and life she had here on earth. The life that God granted her in the first place. She was our mother, friend, and Mimi but she was His. Daughter of the one true King.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He just graciously entrusted her to be my mother here. And for that I can't help but lift my hands in praise & thanksgiving for such a precious gift. Out of all the girls in the world, He picked Rhonda Lee Meador to be my mom. And what an amazing mom she was.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I treasure those final 3 weeks at home with her. The talk she gave me about how to go on, just like her to still be guiding us as she is dying. Always thinking about us, rather than herself. Always offering loving advice, even things we'd rather not hear but she knew we needed to hear them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So much of who I am is because of her and her faithfulness to Christ. Years ago, I gave her a wall hanging that says, "Everything I am or will be, I owe to my mother." She has it displayed on her dresser. I had no idea how much truth was in that sign until now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was evident last Saturday at my mom's celebration service how loved she was. My mom didn't have many requests for her service, actually she didn't have one thing planned (other than she wanted to be cremated and no flowery, sad funeral speeches, ha!). Death never scared my mom and she wanted us to focus on life- the life she lived so well & the fact that she would never really die thanks to the Cross.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We had an out of box celebration service for my mom and while she wasn't physically there, she was very much there. Her spirit will never leave us. I can still hear that familiar voice guiding me and letting me know, "it will be hard, but you'll get through it."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Oh how we miss her! How I miss sitting next to her bed reading scripture to her, praying over her, kissing her, smelling her hair, looking at her sweet & soft hands, and telling her, "mom, we'll be okay!" The truth is we are alright and we will be alright. I know she would be so proud of my dad, oh my dad- he has held so steadfast to his faith, never wavering. She would be so proud of my brothers and my sister, how we've come together for each other. The hugs a little longer & tighter, phone calls more frequent - just like she's always wanted. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I hope I never forget the day she went home and how God truly held us in the palm of His hand. It was beautiful and peaceful. Yes, it was hard but even in the hard He is STILL good. Before they took my mom, my dad asked if we could have a few last minutes alone with her. Just him and his kids...I hadn't finished reading Mark out loud with mom so I asked if I could finish reading the last 2 chapters. Afterwards, I prayed one last time over my mom and for us. It was quiet and about mid-way through the prayer I began to hear song birds outside the window. Loud and clear. So much I got choked up and stopped praying, thinking of how He even takes care of the birds and how when we're STILL we notice Him and all His glory.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And if you know my mom she absolutely LOVED birds! Her office is decorated with birds & one of her guest rooms also we call the "bird room."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Mom, I know you're flying high...FREE as a bird. Soaring on wings of eagles. We miss you more than words can even express but so thankful you taught us to say, "whatever my lot...it is well, well with my soul!" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To the woman who gave me life, I owe all that I am to you. You taught me how to courageous, how to be brave, how to see the good in life, and how to love. How to take care of my family by cooking, cleaning, and taking pride in my home. That this life isn't about things but about the ones we've been entrusted too. How to be a wife and mother. How to live with no regrets. How to write. You taught me how to stand on my own two feet, which I thought I'd never be able to do. You taught us kids the importance of marriage. You lived your faith out as an example for us and you poured your life into us. You taught me that no matter what- you never take your eyes off Jesus. He is where our help comes from and for that I am able to stand today...2 weeks after you've gone home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I can't imagine the celebration you are having in the presence</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> of our King! What wonder of love...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Memorial video played during my mom's service. The Love Story was written by my mom on her and my dad's 25th wedding anniversary and read by me and my sister. The end portion where my mom is talking is audio I recorded shortly after we were told we were to go home on hospice. It truly displays the very heart of my mom. So blessed to call her my mom.</i></span></div>
Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-14590881720681927022016-01-21T11:03:00.000-08:002016-01-21T11:09:15.565-08:00Beautifully in over my head<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are things in this life that happen that are just hard.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am often asked, "How are you?" If you know me, I am hardly ever at a loss for words. I am a Meador through and through. I am talker. I love to talk & share what's on my heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But lately, I've been almost at a lost for words. It is hard to put into words how I am or what I feel. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The fact that I can't wrap my head around or form thoughts to convey how I feel is hard. For me anyway.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Normally my response to the question above is "I'm okay. But it's hard, so hard."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The truth is I am okay and I will be okay. Yes this is hard, but I'd be a fool to think I'd walk this earth without hard times.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The hard in life are the places where I find out where my strength comes from. It is the place where He refines. The place where sweet worship takes place. The place where trust builds.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's during the hard that I've been given the precious gift of praying with and over my mom. To share in the goodness of God. I can chose to look at her frail body and see death or I can look at it and see how much life she's given to all of us. Because it is so much. She is the one who gave me life and poured her life into each of us kids.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Her body represents the sacrifice that Jesus took for us. He died so we could live and live life to the fullest. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For her to die, would be to gain in the supernatural. She gains everlasting life in the presence of her Maker. Heaven is what every believer strives for and while I selfishly want her her with us for many more years, I have to trust God's ways are higher and better.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To think God loves my mom more than we do is almost unfathomable. But the reality is He does and my mom was His before she was ours. He graciously lent her to us for the last 56 years and I can't help but me forever grateful for such a gift.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She has given me and my siblings such life. She has raised us into strong, independent individuals. She has loved us so well. She has loved my dad and in return taught us what marriage should look like. She has lifted us up when we were sad, when life was hard, and when we wanted to give up. So to be able to return that to her now really is a treasured gift. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We have been by her bedside since she came home from the hospital on January 7th. The day before when we were told hospice was the only available option left we gathered around mom's bed. All piled in bed with her and she told us it would be hard, the holidays would be the hardest but that we'd get through it and it would get better. She also told us this isn't the end. So like her to speak wisdom to us and assure us that no matter what happens, we'd be okay. So much of who we are is because of her and what a gift she's given us. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When we think of death we often think of sadness and darkness, but really for a believer it means none of those things. Of course, we'll be incredibly sad if she goes but just like the song says, "there's no sorrow that heaven can't heal." And what JOY to know she is in the presence of our God- that is a praise report all in itself!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Jesus already conquered death on the Cross. And there is nothing on this earth that we will walk that we can't overcome with His help.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The hard places is where He meets us. It's where He shines His goodness and mercy on us. It's where we have no choice but to be still and trust.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I only thought I trusted Him with my mom's life...but when you have no other option to hand over your best friend, your person, the one who you call for everything & even just for no reason at all...you learn you really didn't trust Him like you thought you did.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Trust is like a bridge that allows us to cross over into a new place in our relationship with Christ. A place that no matter what we know He will come through. Life is a forward motion of actively believing and trusting. That bridge builds as we continue to trust and move forward regardless of what may be on the other side.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We have no idea what it means to trust Him with everything. I mean everything. The little things sure, but the big things we tend to hold a tight grip on them. I remember when my mom was first diagnosed and she told us, "this is where the rubber meets the road concerning our faith." Boy, was she right!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's one thing to say it...than actually do it. When standing knee-deep in the hard, we can either allow Him to take over or we can try to do it ourselves. We can let His truth over take us or we can let our circumstances drown us in our despair. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I love how He knows when we need humbling. That He knows us so well and knows what we need in order to keep building that bridge. To fully relish control over to Him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There really are no words to describe this journey other than hard. And I'm not sure hard at times even does it justice. The emotional roller coaster, the what if's, the unknowns, the doubt, the no sleep, the wondering. It's like a vacuum, life at a stand still.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">BUT...there is also such much goodness in the hard. So much!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've never felt closer to the Lord. I've got to spend the last month with my brothers & sisters under one roof like when we were kids. I've got to hold my mom and tell her all the things I love about her and her the same to me. I've had countless opportunities to pray over her, hold her hand, and just sit and be with her. And she has cracked us up time & time again with her jokes. We never knew she was so funny! I've seen neighbors offer such kindness by bringing by food. Family & friends come to offer love to my mom. My friends have loved me so well from afar & I know when I return home, they will continue to be there for me. I learned just how amazing of a husband I have and just how much he'd move heaven & earth to make me happy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've learned that in the hard is where the good lies. While I'd never wish this upon anyone, I am very grateful for the way it has changed and challenged me. And the way God will continue to change me and use this hard place for His glory. I feel honored He'd use my mom and family in such a way. We've grown closer to each other & grown in our faith. We've spent time reading Mark out loud with mom, reading scriptures together, praying over mom together, and as our close family friend told me what she sees here with us & my mom is something so beautiful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sometimes it's in the hard and most uncomfortable of situations where we learn to let go. To fully trust. To fully know He is in control even when life feels so out of control.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know there is purpose in all of this and I don't want to waste it with what ifs, doubts, and wondering. If I say He is King over all then I have to believe and trust that even THIS - is for good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And that He is good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If there is where He wants me to be, then this is where I'll be. Fully trusting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><b>Whether I sink or swim it makes no difference...when I'm beautifully in over my head. </b></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When we are forced into the hard places, we have no choice but to let go and let Him. We have no choice in the outcome or how it happens. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But we do have the choice to trust Him...I'm talking about fully trust Him. To be the bridge maker. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know He is good and that this hard place won't last forever. I'm sure I'll look back on this time and want this time back so while it is hard...I want to be fully here. Present in the hard. In the now. Fully trusting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Knowing that the hard is where heaven meets the earth for me and that no matter the outcome...I'll be okay. We'll be okay. And actually better than before because of it because that's just the kind of God we serve. </span><br />
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<br />Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-14460026018625422582015-12-30T09:39:00.001-08:002015-12-30T10:14:34.117-08:00It makes no sense but this is grace...<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">During my drive home last night, I had to pull over at a rest stop to catch my breath. Sometimes when we walk through what seems to be a dark road, really isn't so dark when we shift our eyes on the things that are unseen, rather than what is seen.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We live with our eyes. We judge based on what we see. We see things from our viewpoint. We see things for what they are, rather than for why they are. I believe there is always purpose & refinement in the valleys.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Time and time again I'm reminded that faith is about what is unseen. When I walked through depression, I had to find a place to see what was unseen. What God wanted me to see. To see this world through His lens. His viewpoint.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Inside out. Not as the world sees things, but as He does.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">His Word is where I go to see from His viewpoint. His ways are higher. His thoughts are wilder. His truth and promises...those are the things I want to fill my heart, head, and spirit with. Not the things that darkness brings - doubt, fear, worry, anger.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It makes no sense but this is grace. I (with Brady) spend a lot of time on the road driving back & forth from Houston. There are times I dread the drive, mostly because it's hard...watching someone you love suffer is hard. But I can also tell you while it's hard, the grace that flows from my heavenly Father far out weighs the hard. Every single drive I've made He has met me. During my 3 & half drives He shows himself every.single.time. I remember one night I drove home & made it to my house after midnight as I got out of the car, I heard the most beautiful song birds singing in the night. I was in awe & just stood there listening, thinking how faithful He is. That same night the moon was so bright on my way home. Like a beacon of hope, guiding me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This world is dark but there is also so much light. What I love is how God can pierce through the dark. There's no darkness He can't shine through. There's no fear, terror, shadow, death or storm that His light can't meet us or guide us through. Today I was talking to a friend who said Nancy there's a bunch of birds out my window, just having a field day like they feel His presence too. Y'all...even the birds don't worry about tomorrow. I've often wished for my life to go back to normal (whatever that is) before cancer invaded it, but had it not...I wouldn't have the chance to be still & seek refuge in Him. In the shadow of his wings. I wouldn't have all these hours spent driving, talking & worshipping Him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wouldn't know how important the light is in the dark.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last night I learned I'll always follow Him into the dark, no matter the cost...because the dark is where He shines the brightest. And where He is there is no darkness. Only peace. Only light. Only grace. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is no place He'll take me that His grace won't cover me. There's no amount of darkness that He can't undo.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wouldn't wish cancer upon anyone- it's ugly, hard, & hurts...but the reality is we live in a dark, fallen world. Cancer seems to be everywhere. Thankfully that's not where it ends...that's not where He ends. Even cancer isn't so dark when you have Him as your guide. It makes no sense but this is grace...I know you're with me here in this place. Here now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fix my eyes on the things that I can't see now and all I see is the glory of Your name..."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I don't have to see things happening to know He isn't working on my behalf. Because the real truth of the matter is He is always working, hearing me, filling me, and guiding me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #222222;">And in the quiet & stillness of the night is when I am able to hear & see Him because "faith is the confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." {Hebrews 11:1}</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #222222;">Right before I left Houston, my mom and I discussed about being in both camps...we say we believe our God is bigger than this cancer, yet we don't live like it. We waffle back & forth. We believe man over His truth & promises. We want to take what we SEE and believe that...but we know that's not how faith works. As I talked with Allen about this, he said what's the point of having faith if you aren't going to believe in that faith? Faith is an action. A journey.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's up to us what we do with the faith we've been given. It's also up to us what we do with and in the dark places of our lives. We can use it to seek and find Him to fuel our light or we can let the dark overcome & our light go out.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm so thankful He already overcame the dark. And I'm so thankful that the way He cares for the birds...He cares & loves me that much more. These drives are just pure goodness...even in the dark because He is good, so so good.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">May His light break forth like the dawn...</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic;">Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. -</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Isaiah 58:8</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #292f33; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.28px; line-height: 34px; white-space: pre-wrap;">"There is ALWAYS a song to be sung. Even after the longest, darkest night, the Son will always rise." -Steffany Gretzinger</span></div>
Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-15352572866692461282015-10-25T23:23:00.001-07:002015-10-25T23:27:13.247-07:00Pure Joy {Photos by B}<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This evening as I was cooking dinner I noticed the sun streaming down outside the kitchen window. It has been raining for days here. I shouted to my little family, the sun is out...let's go outside! Sunshine is so good for the soul & I didn't want to miss it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course, B was the first to run to the front door. I grabbed the camera while daddy took over dinner & we headed out across the street, through the neighbor's yard, and to the field behind their house.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are lots of things I wish I could change about our house. Mostly are all cosmetic and in the big scheme of things (life) really don't matter. And right now in this season, they are things that aren't a priority.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Staying home with B takes priority over shiny new counter tops and the like. My mama always said, no one will remember what kind of car you drove, but they'll always remember what kind of kids you had (raised).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yet, I often find myself counting down the days until a new season comes. The season of school, going back to work, and doing more things. It's no secret staying home as been tough for me, but worth it. it's the refiner's fire, if you will. We often have to say no to things now because I don't work. But as time goes on, I realize things mean nothing. We can't take them with us and they only satisfy us for a short while.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today I was reminded that this season right here, at home spending each day with a strong-willed, full of life almost 4 year old will soon come to an end and I will miss it more than I ever can imagine. And I will miss his sweet little toddler face and the wonder that comes with it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Honestly, I can't believe I've been home now for almost 4 years with my sweet boy. It has gone by in a blink of an eye. & it is precious, precious time I will never get back.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is no amount of money or things or shiny, new counter tops that can bring the kind of joy I experienced today. Joy like this is only through a God who graciously gives us more than any thing could ever give us. When I think of storing up treasures, this is what I think of.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As we went out into the field, our neighbor came out and greeted us. We talked for awhile and Brady kept interrupting her. He couldn't wait to tell her about his dad, and his tractors, and how he can climb a fence really good....as he climbed the fence to the top.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He talked and walked around then came back and talked some more. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He even noticed his shadow and followed it around, going up & down the run-off ditch. We laughed & s</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">he commented on how she can't believe how big he's gotten (she sees him just about everyday) and how she can't believe he will be 4 years old in December.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-u0k6v2Br9DA/Vi2yjGm0KaI/AAAAAAABwIo/GUZrjnWv7oU/s1600/Gannicus%2B%25287%2Bof%2B29%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-u0k6v2Br9DA/Vi2yjGm0KaI/AAAAAAABwIo/GUZrjnWv7oU/s640/Gannicus%2B%25287%2Bof%2B29%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She told me about how when her kids were at home she would put them to bed at 7PM so she could have "her time." I told her I understood that - ha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Afterwards, Brady and I walked around snapping pictures. I had to bribe him so he would let me take his picture. Like most kids, he wants to be doing whatever it is we are doing. He loves to help in the kitchen, working on any & everything. He is a busy body and loves a good project.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I told him let me take your picture and then I'll let you take mine. Yeah, sometimes I don't think things all the way through before speaking. Haha!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The sun was absolutely beautiful!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was his turn to use the camera and so I showed him how to hold it and what button to push. Well, he just kept on snapping and snapping and snapping.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He would say, "oh you did so good!" "oh you look so great mommy!" "okay now look at me!" "okay now look pretty like a princess!" "oh good job mommy!" and the words of affirmation just went on & on. I told him you're going to make mommy cry!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I said okay, now let's see how you did! Y'all I about burst with joy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not because these photos are perfect but because they are treasures for me and my soul. Yet, they are perfect because of what they represent. The joy that comes with being this sweet boys mom. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Raising and shaping his tender sweet heart and soul is my priority. God picked me over every other girl out there, to be his mom. Even when it at times it seems so mundane at times, I know this season will be over before I know it and all I'll have left are the memories. And photographs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So often I am the one behind the camera taking his picture. He always looks adorable, cute, and perfect. So photogenic.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While I see myself as not so perfect, or cute, or skinny enough - that boy sees me as absolutely perfect. He loves me through every single flaw. Just last week, I had on a skirt with a green Army type vest and maroon chucks and he said when I picked him up from school, "mom, you look awesome! I really like your outfit."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After he took the pictures, I let him look at the pictures he took. He was so proud of his handiwork! And so was I. I really was surprised at how well he did, like a pro (for a 3 year old). We even took a selfie to document our teamwork :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But more than that, I am so thankful for the light that shines on through my sweet boy. And for the joy that comes with it. I know there is no greater joy than being his mom.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And today, this evening I loved my home more than ever because of those whom I share it with. I was humbled by the sheer fact that it's the light that draws us out in life. We are the light.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I cherish my humble abode and the kitchen window where I catch the sun streaming over the field across the street. And the outdated counter tops because it's where a certain boy loves to climb up to help me cook or bake. And it's where our heart is- molding, shaping, and teaching a boy that love is more important than things. That joy comes where the light shines. And that no matter how dark this world may get or be, we are the light shining for all to see so shine bright sweet boy! I hope you spark joy all the days of your life!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today was a beautiful reminder of God's faithfulness and goodness. And one day we'll look back on these photos and be reminded of just how good God has and continues to be to us. And the joy that a simple evening of taking pictures brought. Pure, unspeakable joy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: center;">Mommy photo session by Brady, age 3 years old.</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">"Life is all about which lens you chose to see through...joy is the viewfinder of God's lens."</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The funny thing was before bed tonight I heard him talking to daddy, asking about this week (if daddy had to work tomorrow, what school he was going to tomorrow, etc) and he asks, "when are we going to have a dad's day?" AB said, "well today was a daddy day!" He said, "no, a day without mommy." :) </span></div>
Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-28780925012025854602015-10-15T22:23:00.000-07:002015-10-21T16:47:16.968-07:00IF:Calallen<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I recently shared on social media that I had a secret and some exciting news in the horizon. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Over the last year or more I've praying about hosting a ladies retreat or conference. So I've prayed and seeked and prayed some more. I've started planning on 2 different occasions and each attempt failed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In August, I started leading a group of ladies on Mondays in a bible study. They have blessed me more than they know & if I had to pick the heartbeat of ministry for myself- it would be women's ministry. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I truly believe that our ministry will come out of our pain. It will be the very thing that we long to share with others because while it's part of our story, it's part of His story.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is the molding & shaping of our lives, in the crucible of the fire He lifts up our faces and lavishes His love on us. In ways we never could imagine.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everyone has a story. Everyone has a history. Everyone longs for something.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To be loved.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To be known.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To be heard.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To be noticed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To be understood.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To be accepted.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To belong.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Community can be an amazingly beautiful thing when used to encourage and equip. To support the very being of who we are. Not a person who we think we should be, or who others perceive us to be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just to be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Living in freedom of who we are in Christ. He's called each of us to this place - to walk in love with one another.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Which is why I am beyond excited to announce that I will be hosting an IF:Local this coming February. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's right...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://ifgathering.com/gather/local/attend/" target="_blank">IF:Calallen</a> will be a two day event where women will gather across denominations, generations, cultures, and backgrounds to celebrate in the name of Jesus. Below is taken from the <a href="https://ifgathering.com/thegathering2016/" target="_blank">IF:Gathering</a> page explaining what IF: is all about.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #818285; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 30px; text-align: center;"><i>The world around us feels like it is crumbling and almost nothing seems certain, until we look to Jesus and see that our Hope is very clear and certain. He didn’t just give us salvation—Jesus is our salvation and the example of what it means to live in the fullness of grace and truth. What the world needs is His redemption, the very redemption and hope that lives inside of us. Rather than shrink back, it is time to love like Jesus loved, serve like Jesus served, pray like Jesus prayed, and pursue holiness like Jesus pursued it. This February 5-6, join this global gathering of women across denominations, generations, and cultures as we come together in the name of Jesus.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I feel so honored to be able to host this event. My prayer is God will move in our area in ways like never before. To bring woman to a place where they can live in freedom to whatever God has called them too. I am also thankful God answered my prayers about this being more than just a church event, but about community. Which is why I've teamed up with other local churches to help plan, pray, and host this event.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I hope you'll join us & even invite a friend! You can find out more information by clicking <a href="https://ifgathering.com/thegathering2016/" target="_blank">HERE</a> and you can register to attend the event <a href="https://ifgathering.com/gather/local/attend/" target="_blank">HERE</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-14375202649125196492015-10-09T14:03:00.003-07:002015-10-09T14:03:49.319-07:00Studio 6:33 & a BIG announcement <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes in life, we are asked to step out of our comfort zone and serve. In our lives, we can serve in a multitude of ways. We serve in our homes, out of our homes, in our workplaces, in our churches, and in our communities.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">About two years ago, Allen had a vision of starting Studio 6:33. I've always loved photography. In high school, I was in photo journalism and even was the editor of my senior yearbook. But believe it or not, I am an introvert and too many voicemails in my "mailbox" makes me sweaty and nervous. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had already been a small business owner and it was tough managing between home life and work life. Yet, Allen wasn't convinced that I/we should say no to this endeavor. After much thought and prayer, we decided to pursue a photography gig.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So why Studio 6:33?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As a family, we firmly believe in whatever we do in this life, we are to seek His Kingdom first. In searching for a name Allen found Matthew 6:33 and said, that's it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And just like that Studio 6:33 was born.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last year, we hit the ground running and then life took an expected turn and we kind of put photography on hold. In August 2014, my mom was diagnosed with an incurable cancer. This past year I have spent the majority of my time traveling back and forth to Houston and spending time with family. Thankfully, we serve a mighty God and now that she's stable, we decided to start taking on sessions again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But that's not all of the story...we started this for a purpose. Yes, to capture beautiful moments and families make our hearts smile. We love being able to meet others and give them a treasure that will last a lifetime.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We also want to use this as a way to give back. To bring the Kingdom of God to earth, in a tangible way. A way that extends beyond us, while allowing you to journey beside us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With that said, we have a BIG announcement! We are expanding our family through adoption!! And this photography gig will help us fund our international adoption.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">More than your business, we'd ask that you cover us with your prayers as we begin this process. We can't thank our past clients for planting this seed for us! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-85851231377547087542015-09-22T11:17:00.002-07:002015-09-22T11:42:53.386-07:00Runaway Bride<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You know what I absolutely love? I love this God which I serve. And here's why...He can take the most screwed up of person and turn that person into something beautiful. He can take burnt ashes and turn them into beauty.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am not sure about you, but most things that are ugly I disregard, throw out, or think they are useless. But our God...He does none of those things.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Instead of turns our mourning into gladness, our mourning into praise, and offers us a crown - a crown, not just any crown but one of beauty!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He even says He will rejoice over us (Isaiah 62:5) just as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride. We are His brides.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My wedding day was one of the most magical days of my life. I loved everything about being a bride! My mom would joke about how I cared about nothing more than being a bride. The marriage was just an added bonus :) If I could relive my wedding day, I would everyday. I never felt more beautiful than on my wedding day! As wonderful as my wedding day was, to know God sees me as his bride makes me almost want to run. Yet, makes tears well up in my eyes to know He sees me as his bride.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pure, perfect, radiant, wonderful, loved, beautiful...with a crown.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So why run?....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because I know the mess that I am. How could He ever love me with all the mess?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And that's what I absolutely love about the God whom I serve.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because He does love me, despite my shortcomings. Lord, knows I don't deserve that kind of love - but you see He is not about giving us what WE deserve! If that was the case, we'd be sinking ships weighted down by our messes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He is about giving us his grace and mercy. He is about making our hearts whole where this world has tattered them. He is about making our lives whole so we can live the life in which He has called us, according to His purpose.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh and how sweet it is!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On Mondays, I have the absolute privilege of serving alongside a group of beautiful women. We meet for an hour and half and we lean into Him, learning about Him, while learning about ourselves. Mondays are now full for me. Brady goes to school, I facilitate a bible study, then I have class from 7-9 every Monday and normally a test with a 45 min drive there & back. I normally don't get home until after everyone is asleep. But last night, as much as I was tired...I couldn't help but be so filled. Filled with His goodness. This is a new and busy season for me/us but if yesterday was any indication of what is to come...my heart almost can't contain itself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Five years ago, if you would have told me I'd be leading a woman's bible study, I would have laughed in your face. Even if you would have told me 3 year ago, I'd probably laugh.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But here's the thing I absolutely love?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While I am leading, they are the ones blessing me. They are the ones who make me want to dig a little deeper. They make me want to shout from the valley or mountaintop (because some days I'm on top and some days I'm buried in my own insecurities) that this God we serve is nothing short of amazing!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am just like them...wanting, searching, & seeking. I am just like you. We all want to belong, we all want to be apart of something bigger than this life. We all want to make a difference. We want community. We want someone to get us. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We all want to know that no matter how screwed up or messy our lives that we matter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am just your average 30 something girl, who has many faults, but knows she serves a God that created me for great things. For purpose. And those great things can only be done in and through Him. Through living in His spirit.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Great things might just mean I didn't lose my temper today. Or it may mean I prayed about something rather than texting a friend my frustration. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Great things don't have to be grand, extravagant</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> ideas.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think it's sometimes the smallest of things that He wants from us. The things we think don't matter or He doesn't have time for. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, I got news for ya sister - He already knows! He knows your need before it's ever even a need. He created you. He knows you better than you know yourself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He already knows the areas where I stumble. The prayers that I laid at his feet, yet only to pick up - again, and again. He knows my fears. He knows where I think I'm not good enough. He knows it all. But yet He is my someone. He is my hiding place. He is my strength when I am weak. He is why I do matter. Why you matter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When we learn to empty ourselves of this world and fill ourselves with Him...He can do amazing things through us. Regardless of our status, relationships, how much we know, or whatever it is we cling too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So running would be pointless. At least in the opposite direction it would.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am not runner. I have running shoes, but they are more for show than running. Just being real :) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But what I do have is His word and His word is what I do run too, daily. I lace up my heart and run. I run and I run. I run until He fills the empty places of my heart and life. I run to Him. I chase Him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While I run, it's easy to be distracted. To fill myself with things that slow me down. But when I run with Him, towards Him, and chase Him...that is where great thing happen.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's where He takes our messes, our insecurities, our thoughts and instead places crowns of splendor - straight upon our disheveled hair and lives.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Where we exchange our yoga pants and t-shirts for garments of salvation and robes of righteousness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Where He says, "as the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. <i>Now remain in my love</i>." John 15:9</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He loves us more than we could ever know. And I think because we tend to not love ourselves, it's hard for us to comprehend how He even could love us. But oh how He loves us. Loves you. How easy and often we forget to remain in His love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And everything that He is, <b>you are also.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You do matter. You are making a difference. You are a warrior. You are wonderful and fearfully made. You are love. You are loved. You were designed by a Creator who creates only the best. You are beautiful. You are holy. You are...enough.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-style: italic;">You are His. You are His.</b> He is yours.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Regardless of your past, your future, your insecurities, or what anyone else tells you. Or what you tell yourself. Let His voice and truth be heard over anything else. Let Him tell you who you are...by running to Him and his Word. By allowing the Spirit to fall upon you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chasing Him. Making Him the center of your alter. After all, He is the one standing at the end of the aisle, finish line.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because He wants nothing more than to make you His bride. Bringing beauty from ashes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So lace up your running shoes and run! Run to the only One who can take your heart, your failures, your fears, and messes and turn them into something beautiful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is what I absolutely love...even if I run and fail...He will never fail. That through the running He shows me who I really am. Who He knows I am. Not what the world says I am.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He has chosen and called each of us. Calling us into His presence, calling us into rooms of greatness, calling us into a place so heavenly our minds can't even comprehend.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And when I used to think I was not even worth running for...He showed me that running to and with Him is the only way to run. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wedding dress and all...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because this, right now...is worth all the running. All the pit-stops, all the hills, all the valleys, and all the roads which has brought me to this point in my life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To know that He has called me and I said yes...whatever the cost.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I may have running shoes "just for show" but the running isn't just for show. It's for a King that is coming for His bride. For I know He will be g</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">reeting me at the end of that long church aisle...a</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">nd what a glorious day it will be.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't want to be caught as the runaway bride who is running the other way, but yet running as if my life depends on it. Because He is the only one in which I can depend on...so I run.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And I pray for my sweet friends running this race. As I prayed this morning over my Monday girls and named them each by name...I couldn't help but cry knowing God has set each of them, us apart for great things. That when we open ourselves up for Him to work, He (his spirit) will catch us...equipping us to run the greatest race we'll ever run. Lavishing His love on His in ways we never could imagine. Filling us with perfect and blameless love. Taking what we seem is all lost and using it and us. Using you and me- simple, everyday moms and girls/woman for a Kingdom that last forever. Giving us purpose and meaning. Living a life of freedom...free to run wherever He calls us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And that's what I absolutely love this God whom I serve.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><i>Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hebrews 12:1</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So to my sweet sisters...lace up & run. He is cheering you on, we are cheering you on and if He is for you...no one can be against you. I pray His spirit chases you until you are able to run - free in who He created you to be.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-23943181806702174902015-08-27T09:12:00.000-07:002015-08-27T09:16:01.149-07:00Cross the aisle<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Written late June after the devastating Charleston shooting where we lost nine brother & sisters.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last night as I sat with a friend at a local restaurant I noticed an older, black couple sitting across the aisle. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I watched them eat dinner, my heart wept for them. My heart wept for all black people. My heart wept for this fallen, sinful world.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Awareness. Draw us in.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You see I grew up in a very small town, just south of Houston/Sugar Land area where black people were just the norm as white people. Where some of my best friends were black. Where I learned that while skin color shouldn't matter, it does matter to some.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Attending a sporting event as a young, white girl in jr. high with a black boy would almost guarantee a stare or quiet whisper. As if I had no business with having a black friend or we had a bulls-eye on us for judgement based on nothing else other than the difference of our skin color.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How dare we cross over the aisle of race?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To be completely honest, some of the most genuine and kind friends I had during my childhood were black. They never teased me about the way I looked, they never made fun of the hideous station wagon we had, they never cared if I had the latest & greatest Starter jacket because they came from a place where money wasn't what was important. They simply were my friends because I was a friend to them. And their families were always kind and generous whenever I saw them, unlike those who I encountered in public.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But regardless of my upbringing, how many black friends I had or have today and how many times I might reach across the aisle of race, the reality is as a white person I have no idea what social inequality looks like. And pretending that it doesn't exist is just as wrong saying nothing at all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I drifted off to sleep last night thinking about the nine lives that were lost due to the color of their skin, I wept. The faces of the nine flashed before my eyes as reminders of the pain that our brothers and sisters still have to endure, even in the 21st century.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then I thought of all the hate flying over social media. Pure hate. Where people are quick to comment on an issue they have no experience with. On an issue that is more than politics, gun control, religion, and the bubble in which you exist. Because it's easy to throw your two cents out there when you have never been discriminated against simply for the color of your skin. Social media has allowed us to say & share things without even considering the cost it has on others. It's as if we've lost all touch of reality because who even knows what reality is anymore.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let's face it - white people, including myself have no idea what our brother & sisters of the African-American community must feel after the events that took place in South Carolina and the unraveling of events over the last 10-12 months.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, I can try to relate or try to understand but what happened in South Carolina hits a deep wound in the black culture that I simply can't grasp from my perspective.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can chose to walk away from the madness of racism really anytime I want to since I don't directly live it. I'm not directly affected by it so therefore, I am quiet. Or maybe it's fear of saying the wrong thing?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We must listen in order to understand. And we must address the madness from outside the storm. Which starts with people that look like me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As a race, we have failed our fellow man. We have tolerated hate by saying nothing at all. We have allowed ourselves to dismiss race issues by buying into the media hype, by trying to reason or argue a valid point behind a racial hate crime, or by simply acting like it doesn't affect us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hate exist because evil exist. And evil exist because we live in a sinful, fallen world.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A world where the theft comes in the night to kill, steal, and destroy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Where darkness looms around each corner, lurking for lost souls to take up residence.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How dare we reach across the aisle and extend love?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some of the most thoughtful, kind, humble, and God-fearing people I have ever known are black. They love with an intensity that could set this world on fire. Their passion for their kids, their extended family, and their community is one you can't deny. And their love for the Lord IS fierce. We could all use more of their kind of reverence when it comes to church and loving Christ. And most certainly, in the way we live our lives.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even now as family members speak on behalf of their loved ones, they offer and extend grace, forgiveness, and a chance to share the gospel to the lost soul who selfishly took away their loved ones.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Imagine that - a world where we offered the same to those who have wronged us? To those who so freely throw out hate?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can't change that evil or hate exist in this world. It will exist until Christ returns and sadly so will probably social inequality. But that doesn't mean that we sit around and do nothing - or should I say, say nothing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nine people attending a Wednesday night Bible study were shot. Even if color wasn't an issue here, us as Christians should not sit in silence. Those were our brothers & sisters in Christ. They died at the hand of evil, now thankfully in the presence of the King.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What was intended for evil, will be used for good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As a white Christian, I am even more horrified at such evil. More than ever I want to reach across the aisle and sit at the dinner table with those who God created with a slightly different skin tone than me & offer a shoulder to cry on, a prayer in the midst of tragedy, and apologize for the anguish my race has caused them. Not just this week, but for years.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If anything, we should reach across the aisle and take time to listen to our brothers & sisters who are hurting. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="font-weight: bold;">We should turn off our televisions and turn on our hearts.</i> Then ask how you can help? I think acknowledgment is the first step.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I may not understand the depth of this tragic event from the color of my skin, but my heart cries out for those families and their community. </span><br />
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It cries for peace and mutual edification</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. And it starts with us - speaking up and standing up.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Love will always triumph over evil as we are seeing now as the families speak. Stories of forgiveness that take your breath away. Church vigils where those who are hurting are still lifting their hands to the One who saved us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So while I can't relate on that part of their history, I can relate on the part of the body of Christ.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One church, one body.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is simply not enough to just talk about, we must actively find ways to reach across the aisle. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But how? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">By caring. When we start caring about the issue of racism then we can work on changing. God cares and so must we as God's people. This should be a wake-up call for others and for our churches. No, it's not the most comfortable topic of discussion but God never called us to be comfortable.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If anything, He would want us to use this time to bring His people together. To do the exact opposite of what evil intended. He would want us to stand up, even if it means standing alone. To head straight into the storm where deep waters rise, but where grace is met when our feet hit the water.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The storm is raging and our black friends are standing firm, clinging to Jesus - the One who reaches across the aisle time and time again with love.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I pray you would do the same.</span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/113525879" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe> <a href="https://vimeo.com/113525879">Lecrae on "Dirty Water"</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/lionelharris">The Work of Lionel Harris, II</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-36007274396741316702015-07-30T03:31:00.002-07:002015-09-15T08:12:18.678-07:00The Chase<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am a fan of the movie Edward Scissorhands. It's cheesy and just makes me laugh. I mean what normal, suburban lady would go to this place where no one would go to sell Mary Kay? She went to the unlikely of places and befriended an unlikely person. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Someone who was seen as unacceptable in the neighborhood. Beyond different, just straight strange. I mean scissors for hands?! What?! Was she that desperate to sell some skincare products? Or was it a divine moment? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Clearly, I am reading way too much into a cheesy 90's movie.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I scrolled through Facebook tonight then laid my head down to sleep, I thought what happened to the good ol' days of Facebook? Are these people so desperate to sell something they are willing to go/do anything?! </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The days where feeds were filled with real status updates, real pictures, where & what you were eating. Fun, light-hearted feeds.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am currently listening to a sermon series called "Thumb Wars" and I can't help but think how brilliant. Yet, how sad.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let me be clear - I love social media and often find myself spending way too much time on there. I love being able to keep up with friends and my family with just a click away. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But it can also be a place where the "Thumb Wars" overwhelm me. And not overwhelm as in I can't take it, but overwhelms</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> my heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because just like in Edwards Scissorhand, people will and are going to great lengths to sell Mary Kay. Or whatever else they sell. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To sell, to sell, to sell, to sell.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook might as well change it's name to Marketbook because my feed is flooded, I mean flooded with multi-tiered marketing scheme/pyram</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">id</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> ads/businesses or things of the like. I've even had friends get off Facebook because they are tired of it being all about what others can sell/offer them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I mean if someone started selling groceries on there, I'd never have to leave my house.ever.again. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From eyelashes to healthcare to face care. I can find it all on Facebook...all day long.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To be perfect honest, I have nothing against these pyramid deals. I actually happen to sell a multi-tiered product myself. Okay, sell is a loose term for me since I make a few sales here & there. I think there are some really great products out there & I think it's great some are able to supplement their income, get inspired, etc.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So why would this overwhelm my heart?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've heard it say...whatever consumes you, is whom you serve. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I feel like we are so consumed with ways of trying to better ourselves and don't even realize when we have become a slave to the very thing we think is bettering us. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've stayed home for over three years now. We live on a single family income.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yet, God has always provided. Always.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I even had a successful business that I closed due to this exact thing I'm about to blog about. The chase. The money consumed me. The idea to be the next best monogrammer. To keep doing more, making more. I was a slave to my Honey B. business. It was my life. I worked hours upon hours to build it up to what it was and I still had a void in my life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I fell into the horrible lie of the enemy- that I could have it all and do it all. And do it all well. My marriage suffered, my parenting suffered, and I suffered.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was a slave in a wilderness. Searching, chasing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In Exodus 16, the Isrealites were unhappy in their circumstances, yet God kept His promise and manna rained down from heaven. Manna was a food that was miraculously supplied to the Israelites while during the wilderness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God provided when there was no way.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I could have easily gone back to work in these last 2 years. I miss working. A lot. I look forward to when I can return to work. But my work is here, in my home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is where God has called me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He also called the Israelites into the wilderness. For 40 years.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Forty years.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've only been home just a little over 3 and half years so I can't fathom forty. We have made huge adjustments for me to be able to stay home. Sold my brand new car, learned to budget, cut out added expenses, yet we are better off now than we have ever been since we've been married.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God didn't call me to be the best monogrammer in South TX or anywhere for that matter. He called me to serve Him and I couldn't do that with money as my focus or by selling, selling, selling. And boy was I selling!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When He called them into the wilderness, He also tested them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Believe me when I say I had my share of testing. The testing is where He refines, creating me into what He intended me to be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yet, He has always been faithful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The thing is I had been searching and searching. In the wilderness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wanted manna. I wanted that everlasting taste of something good. The land of milk and honey. I wanted the career, the baby, the new house, a new SUV (I still want a new SUV if I'm being 100% real), and I wanted a clean house with a plush bank account. Don't worry I gave up on the clean house a long time ago...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As my mama tells me - none of those things will make you happy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It took me struggling through a dark wilderness plus some to realize she was right.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is only one thing on this earth that will quench that thirst. That will satisfy. That gives us freedom. True freedom in life. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And it is not more money, another level up, or whatever else you gain by selling x,y,z.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thankfully, I already have the ultimate title: Daughter of the King.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So why is my feed filled with non-stop selling and promoting? Because we are all daughters searching, looking for manna. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We all want to feel loved, adored, have that new car, look our best, whatever it may be. God designed us to crave. Crave Him. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Unfortunately, this world has taught us to crave the things of it. Money, a good body, a perfect home & kids, the finer things in life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And my heart cries out for it to stop!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our freedom is not found in these things, yet in Him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can't have financial freedom until we give him our finances. Yes, He blesses us but not to build multi-level marketing pyramids.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Again, I am not saying they are wrong - but what are the reasons behind the chase?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are we chasing?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Who are we chasing?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Each other? More money? More promotions? The approval of others? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I believe in taking care of yourself and being responsible for your body and your finances. I do. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I can't help but think it almost becomes an obsession.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can chase rainbows and feel good moments all day, but in the end - will it matter? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am exhausted just by chasing the Facebook post. I can't keep up between all the deals, products, or your promotions. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can go to the ends of the earth selling something, but it will never satisfy us like Jesus. It will never bring us peace when we're called into the wilderness. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is no amount of money, residual income, car, or promotion that would make living with my mom's diagnosis any easier. The only way to walk through a wilderness such as this one is with the manna He provides. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And because I allow myself to be consumed with Him walking in His truth has become like my job. Sharing with others, encouraging them - that no matter what may come He is good. It's through the wilderness that I find my calling. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He will provide. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I chase Him. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And traded my business of 5 years for trust. Trusting Him in the unknown of the wilderness. I needed that money after all or so I thought.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I ask myself why does it overwhelm my heart to see my feed flooded with these things?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe because I feel so many are searching and looking into something which will never satisfy and frankly it breaks my heart.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He is near to the brokenhearted.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So what if our hearts were broken for what breaks us...how much different would our chase be?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Would we worry with how much money we were making or instead of how much we could give. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Or would we spend our time offering to help others in ways that truly encourage - instead of offering them something that benefits us?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Would we host a party just for those who are hurting or those who are struggling? To those walking this road alone, even if they live in a house full of children and their husband or maybe our friend who is truly alone because she's single. Or the friend who is too ashamed to share her fears and doubts about her marriage or struggles with motherhood?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What if we went to the most of unlikely of places to win that one who may perish?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The search. The chase.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For meaning...to belong, to love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We all belong and are loved in His Kingdom. We are all leaders, producers, and executives...without having to do or sell anything.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He simply just want us. Our hearts, minds, and our souls.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He wants us to chase Him. To search Him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not search our bank account, the scale, waist, a perfect home, or wrinkles...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But simply Him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Knowing He is the one who provides all our needs according to the riches of His glory.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">May we search and chase in ways that bring Him glory. May our hearts break in ways that we turn our hearts towards others rather than our own.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">May you know that He adores you and loves you. That with Him, you can be free. Freedom which has has already been paid for you, for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">May He flood your heart in ways that only He can satisfy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So while my heart cries out for it to stop, it won't until everyone is free. Free to be what Christ has called us to be. His servant. His beloved. Hemmed beautifully into His garments.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><b>If only you could see yourself, the way He does.</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We exist for Him. Yet, the enemy wants us to think we exist for all these other things - that simply do not matter. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I toil at home, but my work is etched in the next life. I search Him here on this earth in the the things of this life, such as Facebook feeds and while I hope to find Him there...instead I find remnants of lives. Tattered, hanging on by threads. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lives lived searching and chasing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What if we chased our personal relationship with Christ in the same fashion as we do the things we promote or sell?</span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-p92-KQFxLAc/Vbn70kcymKI/AAAAAAABnLw/eTSrSaoANV8/s1600/e1eb77846ccd05150f43fd256e5a16f5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-p92-KQFxLAc/Vbn70kcymKI/AAAAAAABnLw/eTSrSaoANV8/s400/e1eb77846ccd05150f43fd256e5a16f5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You see it's not that searching and chasing is wrong - but it is merely what we are searching and chasing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It leaves only wanting more because of what it is lacking. Lacking the security we need in order to be content. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We will never be content with selling, selling, selling. We'll only be content when we learn to trust in the wilderness. No matter how long or how tough it gets.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When we are able to scoop up manna from the morning dew and know </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>HE. IS. ENOUGH.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When we're able to catch a glimpse of His glory and the cries our hearts are hushed by the gentleness of His touch. When we stop searching and chasing and resting in His embrace.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">May He search us, know us, and try us. And may we respond with open hearts. Busted open for what only He can bind back together. <i>Bind our wandering hearts to thee. </i>For we are exhausted from the chase.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We're full, but not satisfied. We are willing to sell out for so many things expect for the ONE that truly will matter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our relationship with Christ.</span>Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-63974306734354744322015-07-07T21:36:00.000-07:002015-07-07T22:43:18.378-07:00Knees to the Earth<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I used to blare Kirk Franklin throughout our apartment when we lived in San Antonio. I had suffered a miscarriage, couldn't find a job and I hated life! I thought of ending my life almost on a daily basis. It was such a dark time in my life & I thought I'd never have real joy in my life. It would be almost 3 years before I would be set free from depression. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I spent many hours on my knees, crying out in our walk-in closet.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Knees to the earth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Other than Allen, my mom was my biggest cheerleader. She encouraged me, lifted me up, and prayed over me time & time again. She knew that God had great things in store for me, if only I could see what she saw & what Christ saw in me. She knew I'd overcome and pushed me to get help time & time again. Honestly, I just thought "it was just who I was" (oh the lies I believed), but mom knew that was NOT who I was. She has poured Christ into me since I was a little girl. She always told me I'd do great things for the Kingdom.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now the tables have turned and I have the honor & privilege of encouraging, uplifting, and praying over my mom. It's tough watching your mom suffer, but more than anything it's tough watching her spirit suffer. Because I know that is NOT who she is. And I know she IS and will continue to do great things for the Kingdom.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This, her diagnosis, her cancer journey is just the beginning. I often joke with her about being her booking agent or when will start speaking about the miracles God is doing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cancer is physically tough, but mentally & emotionally I can't even imagine. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Basically, it's a death sentence [IF you choose to see it that way]. But as believers we know Christ already conquered death & we are ALL dying little by little every single day. It's how we chose to live each day that matters. Not next month, next year, five years from now, etc. So I choose not to see it as a death sentence, but yet a spring board for God's goodness & grace.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Perspective</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> is everything.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our minds are programmed to think towards the future, but I'm starting to believe that's not at all how Jesus intended it to be for us. Always chasing the next best thing, the next vacation, the next promotion, the next, the next...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Isn't today enough? Isn't HE enough?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I bow my knees to now. Today. This day whatever it may bring. Thanking Him for today. Even thanking Him for the hard- this hard, cancer. I look for opportunities I can seize today. I also threw out the expectations of THIS world. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to be in this world, but not of it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want the lens of grace.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The grace that transfigures all. After all, isn't that why Christ suffered the ugliness of the Cross? To transfigure us, through grace. To prove there is beauty in the suffering.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When we lay it down, knees to the earth we empty ourselves. Emptiness is then filled with His grace. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe that's why His grace abounds in deepest waters...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our vantage point changed. Transfigured.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We must change our lens in order to see the God of Transfiguration. To experience fullness. Grace. Beauty.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember once mom told me while sitting at the kitchen table...that isn't it sweet to be in the valley. I cried. All I wanted was to be on the mountaintop (or dead) because the valley was hard. But she was right.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Life is full of valleys & it seems we're in the valley more than we are on the mountaintop, but maybe it's not the valley that's hard but our perspective that makes it hard. Satan wants nothing more than to keep us in chains & play with our emotions. Our perspective gets blocked & we feel hopeless. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But our knees are our vantage point in the hard. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Where we bend the knee and meet Christ face to face. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Where darkness transfigures into light, sufferings transfigures into grace, bad turns to good, and pain births new life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It IS a sweet, sweet spot. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes I wish I could go back to that closet with Kirk Franklin blaring & tell myself THIS is where your pain will be used for good. For the Kingdom. He picked me & you mom for Him. For His Kingdom. For His good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He picked you for this. Like Esther, "and who knows you have not come to the Kingdom for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So Mom it's sweet to be in the valley. The valley is where sweet surrender happens, where we're transformed by His grace and love. Consider it ALL joy - the valley & the mountaintop. Consider this time just a resting spot but not a destination. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God wastes nothing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So bend the knee, give thanks for the pain, and transform your perspective.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">May you have eyes to see the mountaintop God has before you. The beauty in the pain.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But meanwhile knees to the earth. Emptying out yourself where grace transfigures all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even cancer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Proudly refusing to accept this moment (including the HARD moments), dismissing it as no gift at all, I refuse God. I reject God." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Thy will be done," - not just in heaven, or down the road in the future in this world, but in this world<i> at this very moment</i>." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This very moment...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mom- i love you madly! Lift up your face for mercy remembers your name!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tomorrow is a new day but tonight blare some Kirk Franklin & lay down your fears at the feet of Jesus & yes buy that gift & dye your hair & do all the things you normally do because you are STILL living!!! & according to AB you will be for a while ;) we're still in the fight! It's time to get back in the ring & show the enemy just WHO you really are!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And I'd gladly walk through my darkness 100x over it means that I'm able to face this with my mom. I'm thinking knees to the earth with thanksgiving is the only way to live.</span><br />
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Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-19275204118400755192015-04-22T21:36:00.001-07:002015-04-22T21:55:06.624-07:00Costa Rica: Day 8 {Departure: Home}<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Saturday. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our time in Costa Rica has come to an end. It felt like in one aspect the week went by really fast, yet also really slow. I think we were all ready to return home to our families. I can't speak for everyone but I know while I couldn't wait to get home, I also knew I would miss Costa Rica.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In a mere seven days, my life was completely changed. My heart and mind opened in ways I never thought possible. My perspective changed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Saturday morning, we got up and had one last meal cooked by Muraja. We ate, cleaned up, and then got the rest of our stuff packed. Most had packed the night before, but there were still last minute things to pack. We said goodbye to where we had called "home" for the last 7 days.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Javier arrived a little before 8 to load up our bags and take us to the airport. We were loaded and ready to go by 8:15.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our flight was set to leave at 11:10AM. We safely made it to the airport and it was time to say goodbye to our lovely driver, Javier. We thanked him, gave him a gift, and gave hugs all around. We had grown fond of Javier. He made us laughed, was a great singer, told us so much about things we saw, and happily answered any and all our questions. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We were very thankful for him to be our driver.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once we said our goodbyes, we all filed into the airport. Costa Rica requires an exit tax so we took care of that first. Each person paid their $29, filled out some paperwork, then got in line to check in with United Airlines.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For whatever reason, this took particularly a long time. I think we were relieved to finally get all checked in. We then made our way to security, which moved rather quickly but behind us was a line of people - not sure where all the people came from. Security was a breeze & we had about 10 minutes to spare once we made it to our gate.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A few bought last minute souvenirs, while I made sure to get ONE last cup of Costa Rican cafe! That I happened to spill all over my backpack and then had to throw away before boarding the plane.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not a happy camper! They searched our bags before getting on the plane for any and all liquids. It was crazy & the ladies searching were relentless. Becky was NOT happy they made her throw away her brand new $3.50 bottle of water.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One lady insisted I drink ALL the coffee before getting on the plane. Clearly, that was not going to happen but she wouldn't let me throw it away. Which made NO sense to me! Thankfully, one of the other security guards agreed to let me just throw it away. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The plane coming home was full. Not a single empty seat. Everyone except Michele sat at the very back of the plane. Like the very last row. I heard every single time the toilet flushed. Yay! ;) I was just happy our seats reclined unlike the way to CR.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was even happier I was able to sneak in a hour long nap.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We arrived in Houston right on schedule...a few minutes before 4pm. We cleared security and customs with no problems at all. Our rides were waiting for us as we walked out of the airport.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We were thankful to be home, but I think a piece of all of us was still in Costa Rica. We could go back to our "normal lives" (whatever that is), but I don't think we'd go back the same people.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Costa Rica was a trip of a lifetime. It was incredible. It was humbling. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am so thankful myself and the 6 others I went with, all said yes to something so much greater than ourselves. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can't wait to go back!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Until then...Pura Vida, los amigos!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know one little person who sure was happy to have mommy home! My heart has never been so full!!!! And I can't thank his daddy enough for encouraging me to go on this trip for myself. I probably never would have considered it had he not insisted I go and promised me him and the boy would be just fine. And just fine they were :)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span>Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-30898691659053309922015-04-20T12:28:00.000-07:002015-04-22T21:46:47.728-07:00Costa Rica: Day 7 {Part II: La Paz Waterfall}<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I'm currently in the comfort of my home, obviously not in Costa Rica any longer. I wasn't able to finish day 6 since I had a bad WiFi connection and well was exhausted. I am still tired, but before I forget I want to finish up blogging about our last full day in amazing CR!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I left off on <a href="http://blissfulbeyer.blogspot.com/2015/04/costa-rica-day-6.html" target="_blank">the previous post</a> with us heading up to mountain to the waterfalls...</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There were lots of dairy cows or farms on the way up.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">As we got closer to the falls, we started seeing natural springs just coming out.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The way up to waterfalls was a lot of curves and bumps. The temperature started to drop and the views overlooking the cities down below were just breath-taking. It took probably an hour & half to get to <a href="http://www.waterfallgardens.com/la_paz_waterfall_gardens.php" target="_blank">La Paz Waterfall gardens</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As soon as we got there, we headed to a lunch buffet. The food once again was really good. There was bbq short ribs, roasted chicken, fresh salad & pasta, rice & beans of course, chips & dips, pizza, fruit, and fresh fruit juices. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We ended our meal with delicious Cafe Britt coffee with warm rice pudding!! Soo good!! I could have just stayed here for the rest of the afternoon ;) I think I have a slight addiction to the Costa Rican coffee, haha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We had about 2 and half hours left to explore the gardens and waterfalls. There are trails and you go at your own pace. There were also lots of other areas to see other than the waterfalls.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There was a jungle cat exhibit, butterfly garden (that was amazing!), monkeys, frog area, snakes, walk-through bird exhibit, and trout pond. Plus a ton of beautiful flowers to take in. The monkeys really liked Elias or really he liked them. It was so funny!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We all kind of did our own thing based on what each of us wanted to do. All of us, except Becky did the walk down through the waterfalls. We took a selfie on the way down...trying to capture our "we are really in the rain forest" moment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>It was incredible!</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The pictures just don't do this place justice! There are a total of 4 waterfalls, and the biggest one starts up at the top.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The water was so cold and felt soooo clean!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There were ferns that were HUGE! And these other plant that had the biggest leaves I had ever seen. They called it "poor man's umbrella" but I'm not sure of the real</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> name. These were growing up above the walkway through the waterfalls. I mean such beauty!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The flowers were so colorful and vibrant! Sadly, I only had my camera phone with me so my pictures don't do a great job of showing their beauty. Even the "small" leaves were huge. They had these trees that looked like something out of a Dr. Seuss book or movie.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This one was called "White Magic" because when you stared at the middle of the fall, the cliff looked like it was moving back and forth with the water. Was freaky!! The picture below is looking down over the top of the waterfall.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The jungle cat exhibit...Daddy jaguar and mommy. She had the first cubs ever born in captivity in CR. Three little cubs that were so dang cute, only 49 days old.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Baby cub climbing and biting a tree.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Michele and I as we were walking through just kept saying, "wow we are really here! In the rain forest!!" It was surreal. We really enjoyed seeing the falls but the walk back up was no joke! I thought we might not make it...I blame the altitude, and not the fact that we are totally in shape for such hiking. This was our we might not make it moment...haha! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Towards the end of our hike, this little guy just popped out of no where. Beverly, Melissa, Michele, and myself were so excited to see him! He was not bothered by us at all. I'm sure he saw us barely able to make it up that he knew we were harmless ;) we took a short bus ride back up the top and then we watched them feed the jungle cats before heading home. My phone died right before we went into the butterfly house so sadly I didn't get any pictures of them. But it was amazing! We all had a great day & it was a good way to end our amazing trip! We had a long trip home since it was "rush hour" once we made it back down the mountain. We ate dinner and then packed our bags for the trip home. Day 7 and our trip home...I'll post tomorrow!</span><br />
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Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-41351260518216888322015-04-17T21:15:00.002-07:002015-04-22T21:46:58.163-07:00Costa Rica: Day 7 {Friday: Cafe Britt}<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Friday Funday!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today was our last full day in Costa Rica and we used it to take in some more of the BEAUTIFUL sights! Our lovely leader, Michele booked us a tour of Cafe Britt which is a coffee and chocolate factory for the morning. For the afternoon, she planned lunch and a tour of The La Paz waterfall.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was WONDERFUL! Much slower paced than the zip lining on Sunday, but we still got a workout.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This morning, we had breakfast at our usual 7am. We seem to be running slower and more behind each day. Ha! No doubt, we are tired!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because I am tired...this will mostly be pictures! Hope you enjoy!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We headed to Cafe Britt around 8am for our 9am tour. We arrived a little early so we checked out the gift shop before starting our tour.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The tour took us through the history of coffee, the growing, picking, and roasting process. Once we learned about those, they took us over to the factory where they actually do the roasting & packaging of coffee.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The town where Cafe Britt is located is known for making masks. So most of the street signs have this crazy looking heads or masks on them. There are also legends about some of the masks & around the tour area there are the masks with an explanation of the legend. Was interesting to read and some Ricardo from the work site had told us already about a few of them - which made it fun to actually see the mask.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At the start of the tour, explaining the history of how coffee came to Costa Rica. Afterwards we all got a sample of the chocolate covered coffee beans. YUM!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next they explained to us how they grow the coffee bean trees from seeds. They grow them in small trash bags (2 to a bag) until 1 year. Then they are transferred to the ground to finish growing. They will produce beans for 15 years then they are "retired" because the quality of the beans decreases. The most important conditions for the plants is rain & sun, soil conditions (volcanic soil), and altitude.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next, we learned about the picking process. All the beans at Cafe Britt are hand-picked. Only the red ones are ripe, the green ones are not. A worker is paid by the basket- $3 a basket. Most can pick 20 baskets a day, which is $60/day which is really good for Costa Rica. But harvest is only 4 months out of the year. See basket below in picture.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cafe Britt uses the wet milling process to prepare the beans for roasting. They only use the beans that sink to the bottom, the ones that float are no good. They are fermented then dried using the traditional patio drying method, where they are raked every hour. Every part of the bean & husk are used in some way. There is no waste.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our guides then showed us the best way to make coffee and how to tell if your coffee is good/fresh. Elias volunteered to be a taste tester! :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The rest of the pictures of how the factory where they are dried in ovens, roasted, then packaged. The black thing to the right is an oven. The other, a roaster.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The flowers around Cafe Britt were so beautiful!!! The picture to the right are cocoa beans. That's where chocolate comes from!!! So cool!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We left Cafe Britt and headed to La Paz waterfall. It was a long, bumpy ride up the mountain. And lots of turns and curves, but the views were incredible!! We were literally in the clouds. You could feel the temperature dropping as we kept going up the mountain. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well...the mouse on my laptop stopped working and I am about to fall asleep on my keyboard, even though I had 2 cups of coffee at 9 tonight. I also am having a hard time getting my pictures to upload so I'll take that as a sign that I need sleep! :) I will finish day 6 part II tomorrow. We're watching the weather back home and we're all praying for you all tonight!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tonight, we'll sleep one last night in Costa Rica and tomorrow morning board the plane to head back home. We are tired, but we have been filled in SO many ways this week. We definitely are not coming back the same people we were just a mere 7 days ago. We all can't wait to get home and hug our family's necks, as well as our church family! We have been forever changed this week! THANKS so much for praying for us, encouraging us, and following along with us via pictures and this blog!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">See ya real soon Texas!! xoxo</span><br />
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Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-24732108057407776572015-04-16T20:28:00.000-07:002015-04-22T21:44:57.086-07:00Costa Rica: Day 6 {Thursday}<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thursday...we are dragging today! I am at least. I know we all look exhausted anyway.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Breakfast this morning was at 7AM. Most of us wake up around 6:30 to get ready for the day. This morning for breakfast we had pancakes, bacon, And of course cafe!!!!! I had 2 cups this morning instead of my usual one.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We had devotion time during breakfast like we have had all week. Javier joined in with us for breakfast and devotion. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After breakfast at 10 til 8, we loaded up in the big bus again. The same one we took to church on Sunday. This morning we picked up Monica on the way and headed straight to the work site/children's home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today, we only planned to work half a day then the other half we would play with the children and then take a tour of the Methodist school. Thankfully, that's exactly how our day went - as planned! Thanks for praying for no rain so we could spend time with the kids. Today's weather was really cool and overcast. The weather has actually been perfect, not hot at all!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our goal today was to do at least 2 rows, which is what we normally do in one full day. So we had to work efficiently. We all put our heads down and got to work!! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yesterday, Becky and I started sorting and organizing ALL the amazing donated items we brought from back home. It was a job ALL in itself. We didn't finish yesterday so Michele and I real quickly put away what we could fit into the rubber bins. We donated 105 pairs of shoes to the children! Wow!! A ton of dresses, socks, undies, shorts, and shirts. Ray & Lidia were so very grateful for all the donations! I filled as many bins as possible to the top and the rest of the clothes are waiting for new bins.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We took a break again at 10AM but not a long as the ones we have been taking. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At noon, we cleaned up the wheelbarrows, shovels, trowels, etc and got ready for lunch. Monica made us another yummy dish of pork and garbanzo beans, rice, salad, amazing guacamole, fruit, and fresh fruit juice made from yesterday's leftover fruit. It was DELICIOUS!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then we had CAFE! I asked Ray if it was customary for us to have coffee after each meal and he said always for breakfast and after lunch and then normally again around 3:30 in the afternoon. Lidia was telling us everyone drinks coffee here, including kids. She said a lot of the parents here give coffee with milk & sugar in their bottles! Crazy!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once lunch was over, we went "shopping" for the kids. Becky has a ziplock for each of the children with their name & sizes written on them. We picked out each child an item of clothing to take to them as a gift.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We also have Ricardo, Junior, and Monica their thank you gifts. Hats, t-shirts, and Monica a pool she had been eyeing at the store. Becky told us about it and she about cried when we gave it to her. She told us she couldn't really talk or else she'd start crying. And I'm not sure who was in charge of these gifts, but somehow Junior got a Longhorn cap and I did NOT approve of that! I told him next time he is getting an A&M hat! ;) We all laughed!!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ricardo</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Junior receiving his hat.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ray and Lidia spent some time with us discussing their foundation and an endowment fund they recently started. They shared with us ways we can back home stay involved and help the children. We can't wait to share with you all once we get back!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once most of the children were home from school, we headed down to the houses for some FUN!! We took the kids jump ropes, frisbees, crayons & coloring sheets, marbles, and card games (Go Fish & Old Maid). They were SO excited!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We played soccer, ran around, threw the frisbee, colored, played cards, and just loved on them. While we thought we'd be blessing them, they are the ones that truly did the blessing!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Coloring on my stomach while I stand. This little one wants a mama SO bad!!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once we played for a while, then we went up and got their "gifts." You would have thought it was CHRISTMAS for them! Then when they realized the dresses weren't store bought but made - tears welled up in their eyes. They have no idea how much they are loved! Each girl gets 3 dresses to wear to church until they grow out of them, then they are rotated around. So to get a NEW dress was so special!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The rain started to come down and it was time to leave. Leaving there today was tough!! This would be the last time we'd see the kids, yet we'd all have their sweet little faces ingrained in our minds.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We taught her how to play frisbee today. She was really good once she got the hang of it.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While the kids are so lovely, knowing their stories and knowing they may not ever have the experience of a family is so sad. To know kids are literally thrown away is something our minds almost can't comprehend.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thankfully, Ray and Lidia do their best to show those kids how loved they are. They also make sure they know how much their Heavenly Father loves them. One girl even asked Elias today if he knew God? A 12 year old.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We all finally made our way to the bus. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ray was then going to take us to the Methodist school to give us a tour. Not all the kids are enrolled at the Methodist school, but the ones that meet requirements and they know will be with them for a long time, go. It cost about $500/month for the kids to go to school. The school pays half and the children's home pays half. They teach 4 languages: Spanish, English, French, and Mandarin. The school was beautiful!! I will do a part II post for the school since it's mostly photos and I am ready for a shower AND bed!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We returned to the Wesley House at 5PM, but as soon as we in and put our stuff away, we headed down a few blocks to the ice cream shop. POPS! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was well worth the walk and extra calories!! Michele, Melissa, Beverly, and I all went. Elias also went but as our bodyguard. We are thankful for him and especially for translating for us. I got a "cano triple" (triple cone)! Go big or go home, right? Or when in Rome?! Either way, it was a good choice!! I had a scoop of chocolate almond, pistachio, and coconut. Coconut was definitely the winner, but they were all good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dinner tonight was interesting. Cannoli with tuna inside & a tomato sauce, rice & beans, salad, and squash was on tonight's menu. We had devotion time while eating dinner. We found this just works better than waiting until after.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When we started at the work site, there were no bricks on the 2 sides we were working on. We have seen it literally come up out of the ground! On one side it is 8 high and the other 7. They expected we would get 4 layers done this week. I say we definitely exceeded their expectations!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Heading out...Goodbye children's home! Until next time...cue the tears.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The dream team! :)</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the morning, we are heading to Cafe Brit for a tour of the coffee& cocoa plantation. YUM!!! Then to the La Paz waterfall for lunch and a tour/hike to the waterfall!! We are excited to rest our bodies for a day before we head back home! We can't wait to get back home to tell you all about this amazing trip! I am almost certain we have all been changed in some way or another from this trip! And we are definitely already discussing our next trip...we hope you can and will join us next time! THANKS again for all the prayers! We have been covered with such grace this week. We can't thank you enough back home for joining us via Facebook and this blog!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pura vida - as they say in Costa Rica! Pure life!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-1746856287637910692015-04-15T20:27:00.001-07:002015-04-22T21:43:34.034-07:00Costa Rica: Day 5 {Wednesday}<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We made it to mid-week...thank you Lord. Each day it seems we are moving slower and slower. But still eager and excited to get to work.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We headed down for breakfast a few minutes past 6 thanks to the whole moving slower deal. We had fried eggs, sausage, homemade tortillas, and delicious cafe again. We had a guest come eat with us. A pastor from one of the Methodist churches about 2 hours away.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Afterwards, it was time to head to work. We loaded the van with more suitcases and off we went. We stopped at a fruit stand on the way to get fresh fruit for lunch. Plus Elias was really itching to get some fruit we can't get back home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some stayed in the van while others shopped. The man from the fruit stand brought us samples to the van to try. There were some very interesting fruits. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm not sure what these are called but the top of these is where the cashew nut comes from. Only one in each pod. Mind blown!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Monica is in the blue shirt. She's our lunch cook and she's a really good cook!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Elias treated us all to FRESH agua de pipa (coconut water) from the fruit stand - so yummy!! Much better than the store bought ones we tried last night.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We left there and had to make another stop. Michele </span><strike style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">lost</strike><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> misplaced her sunglasses so we had to stop and get her some new ones. Which she looks amazing in!! Be sure you tell her when you see her wearing them.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Passion fruit and mango. Passion fruit = very interesting!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back on the road, we made our way to the store to drop off Monica & Becky. Becky said the store was crowded and they had to take a number & wait to be called to check out. Apparently, today is payday in CR so everywhere has been much more crowded than usual. They get paid 2 times a month.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Finally, we arrived back at the children's home for work! Ricardo and Junior were waiting for us to get started. We got right to work making concrete to put into the blocks, then mud aka mortar. Today was really overcast and somewhat chilly.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We then tied rebar down and started adding mortar then blocks. My job was to chip the blocks on the rough side so it would sit properly on the rebar. I'm sure Junior was thinking he should have put someone on that job because he kept having to remind me to do the "rough side" - not the smooth. I'll be honest, they looked the same to me - ha!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We worked until 10 and took a break. Michele and I wanted to walk to the soccer fields which is below the children's homes. One of the little girls saw us and waved so we stopped and by there and got hugs instead. We want to know Spanish so badly so we can talk with them. But thankfully love is universal and the language really isn't an issue. And look at this beautiful view on the walk down to the soccer fields.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At noon, we stopped work for lunch. It was another delicious meal! But the coffee was even better!!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The fried plantains - delicious!! The main dish was meat & I thought was potatoes but it was squash. SO good!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once lunch was over, it was time to get back to work. We have more than met our expectations for the week. We have done double what they thought we might get done. They are used to teams as large as 30-40. So we are really proud of how much we have accomplished in such a short time. We have now reached ground level, putting us at six levels high. They anticipated we would have done 4 levels by Thursday, our last day but instead we've done six as of today! We are superstars!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We worked until about 3 or 3:30 and then stopped to go play with the kids since most of them are out of school on Wednesday afternoons. But God had other plans because once we got all the toys cleaned, the rain started coming down. We decided to put off playing today and plan tomorrow. So please pray for NO rain! We want to be able to take them outside and play soccer, jump rope, and just run and play. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He was fixing David's socks. He didn't like that they were up high :)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Singing songs with Elias</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The kids were so disappointed that we didn't get to play with them today! We took them little treats today to help make up for it and said "hi" to them. Tomorrow, we plan to stop work at lunchtime and spend the rest of the afternoon playing and loving on the kids.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We made our way home in the rain. So thankful for our driver, Javier to get us places safely. We've all said there is no way we could drive here. David says it's typically central America driving. Once we got home, we had trouble getting the gate to front door unlocked. It's always an adventure with us, but in all seriousness - our group meshes so well together. We've all been super patient with each other, always encouraging each other, and the laughs just keep coming! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We had dinner at 6pm and then devotion time. We are all feeling the effects of our hard work. We seem to move a little slower each day. And at least one of us is carrying around some kind of pain reliever. I forgot to take a picture of my plate before I ate and so I took a picture of what was left. Tonight we had some kind of chicken (thighs & drumsticks) in a sauce, baked potato slices, teeny tiny green beans (with some kind of seasonings), salad, and pineapple. Muraja fixed us some HOT cafe after dinner. I can't get enough of the coffee here!! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'll be honest, I was hesitant about coming on a trip with people I didn't really know, but it has been so delightful! God has truly met us in every way during this trip. The picture below is the front of the Wesley House, where we are staying. Sorry about the rain on the window, I was in the van when I took the picture. Tomorrow will be our last work day. Pray we are able to finish strong! Tomorrow afternoon, we hope the rain holds off so we can play with the kids one last time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everyone, except Michele and I are already tucked in bed. We are bundling up on blankets as tonight it is supposed to be 66* - right now at 9:24PM it's 70* out. I think we've somewhat adjusted to all the noises (including the barking dog!), but tonight there's a soccer game at the stadium right up the road. Seldom we'll hear cheers and the announcer. They said it would cost $6 to get in the game. I think we are all way too tired for that kind of fun tonight :) I know I am...my bed is calling my name!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">THANKS so much for following along on this journey. It has simply been life-changing!!</span><br />
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Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-34417073584474776322015-04-14T21:05:00.000-07:002015-04-22T21:42:49.216-07:00Costa Rica: Day 4 {Tuesday}<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tuesday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We started out bright eyed and brushy tailed this morning. We moved breakfast to 6:30 instead of 6 and I think we were all happy about the extra sleep. We headed downstairs at 6:30 for a quick breakfast. This morning Muraja made us all fried eggs, one plate at a time. Runny yokes & all! We also had bacon, egg-o waffles, rice & beans, and fresh fruita with milk or coffee.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Javier, our driver arrived around 7am. Yesterday, we had a different driver because Javier had to go to a doctor's appointment. We were happy to see our amigo back :) He informed us we didn't need to leave until a quarter til 8, instead of 7:15. So we all enjoyed a little more cafe and helped put away things in the dining hall/kitchen.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">During breakfast, we had our morning devotional while we ate. It was on 1 Peter 2:13-23 on being submissive to your masters and rulers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After breakfast and cleaning up, we loaded up some of the suitcases we brought FULL of the items that were donated for the children's home. Everyday we'll slowly take a few suitcases until they are all gone. Lidia said they will keep the suitcases and in October they have a big garage. All the funds raised at the garage sale will go towards expenses. She said luggage is a huge seller because people don't have closets here, so they like to put clothes in them and put them under the bed. She also told us it cost $18,000 a MONTH to run the children's home. Wow!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our our way to Coronado, we picked up Monica, our cook. We dropped her and Becky off at the store to get food for today's lunch. Everyday Monica and Becky shop and prepare our lunch meal. Once we got to the work site, we immediately got to work. Shifting sand, moving bricks, mixing mud, etc. We continued doing the same things as yesterday, adding on to the layers we already laid.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We took a break at 10am and then lunch was at noon. Today we had a soup cooked in the pressure cooker, rice, black beans, salad, fresh fruit, and sweet tea.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After lunch, Lidia took us for a tour of the homes and land. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are 2 homes, a girl and a boy home. House of Faith is the boys' home and House of Hope is the girls. They are beautiful homes overlooking a creek.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Living room in the girls home.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Laundry room</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">View from the front door</td></tr>
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Below is a bathroom and another room.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">House of Hope</td></tr>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ubSVe_ZCP1Y/VS3kiHhDurI/AAAAAAABdF0/InxJ2oRe3Xw/s1600/IMAG4071.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ubSVe_ZCP1Y/VS3kiHhDurI/AAAAAAABdF0/InxJ2oRe3Xw/s1600/IMAG4071.jpg" height="640" width="362" /></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">View from their backyards. There are more squatters right over the river that is a concern due to the threat of them crossing over and setting up more shanty homes on the property of the children's home. In CR, there are laws protecting them and they have stolen things from the children's home in the past. Please pray they are able to resolve this issue soon. They will either need to build a fence (which is very expensive!) soon so they can't cross over the property line or they need to hire a night guard, which will be about $1000/month.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Most of the kids were in school, but we did get to meet a few of them. They melted our hearts! Please pray these babies find their forever homes. Lidia said every night they pray for mommies and daddies. The girls home was quiet and tidy while the boys was loud and chaotic. Michele was right at home with a bunch of rowdy boys!! I wanted to squeeze them all! So precious!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We worked until about 3:30-4pm and then headed back to the Wesley house. Beverly wanted to find postcards to send back to her students so Javier took us to a survivor shop. We all piled out of the van and went shopping!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We got home around 5pm, just enough time to take showers and get ready for dinner at 6. At 6, we went downstairs for dinner. We were all moving really slow. The work site today was a little warmer than yesterday, but really still felt great. There was no rain today though.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sunset as I went down for dinner. Amazing!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At one point, there were about 10-15 huge parrots just hovering over us. Michele said they were blue and green, but I'm not sure I trust her after she mistaken-ed salt for sugar ;)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While waiting for dinner everyone was moving slowly and our muscles were sore. So this happened...team work in all aspects!</span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-n21-mbW4abk/VS3ediP1ykI/AAAAAAABdFU/lLaqHbiyYuQ/s1600/IMAG4119.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-n21-mbW4abk/VS3ediP1ykI/AAAAAAABdFU/lLaqHbiyYuQ/s1600/IMAG4119.jpg" height="362" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dinner tonight was a lasagna type casserole (cheese, melt, & lasagna noodles) with breaded, fried plantains, salad, and papaya.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-48tTWL3r_3M/VS3edgifjAI/AAAAAAABdFU/nnnZEqQ08S4/s1600/IMAG4120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-48tTWL3r_3M/VS3edgifjAI/AAAAAAABdFU/nnnZEqQ08S4/s1600/IMAG4120.jpg" height="362" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once dinner was over we walked a few blocks to the store. They had coconuts or pipa with straws ready for you to drink. Instead we bought the agua de pipa in a bottle and it was no bueno. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eggs here are stored at room temperature. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was an experience and I wasted $20 on junk. Please see picture below. Never a dull moment with this bunch!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The flowers here are beautiful! The hydrangeas are insanely huge!! On our walk back from the store, I was able to capture a picture of one.</span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8399df_YOBg/VS3edgGNZVI/AAAAAAABdFU/firXEROARsI/s1600/IMAG4132.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8399df_YOBg/VS3edgGNZVI/AAAAAAABdFU/firXEROARsI/s1600/IMAG4132.jpg" height="400" width="226" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are definitely feeling the effects of our work, but we are still laughing, enjoying each other, and filling so blessed to have this opportunity here this week. I know personally, I have am having an amazing, life-changing week. I am also so much in love with the people of Costa Rica. I love how everyone is outside, walking, playing, interacting with each other - it's just such a more simple way of life. But the driving/traffic is a little crazy...I've decided just look out the side windows and not the front and you'll be just fine! :) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">THANK YOU all for the prayers and encouragement. Please continue to pray for us, the kids at the home, those who we are working with, and for the ministry that Ray & Lidia do here. We are already talking about when we come back...and praying for when we get back and how it will impact our church. We are having such an amazing time and while we do miss our Texas families, we are loving our Costa Rican families!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Be blessed! xoxo from Costa Rica!</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-r8H8Ffm3rDM/VS3lTqPBPNI/AAAAAAABdGA/McMjQAS7lIg/s1600/IMG_20150414_084448.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-r8H8Ffm3rDM/VS3lTqPBPNI/AAAAAAABdGA/McMjQAS7lIg/s1600/IMG_20150414_084448.jpg" height="640" width="476" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-34178931934151852222015-04-13T21:40:00.001-07:002015-04-22T21:42:35.520-07:00Costa Rica: Day 3 {Monday}<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Day 3 has come and gone in Costa Rica! Our day started really early this morning. The sun rises here at 5AM and the birds (parrots) are nature's alarm clock. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Breakfast was served at 6AM. This morning we had pancakes, sausage, delicious cantaloupe, rice & beans, and fresh pan (bread) that Elias went out and picked up for us. Another delicious meal & Michele provided us some morning entertainment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Michele got little sleep last night due to homework so she was ready for the amazing cafe Costa Rica offers. She fixed up her coffee with cream & sugar, then stirred her coffee with her fork. She took a drink and made the ugliest face. Turns out what she thought was sugar was actually SALT. Of course, we all laughed at her-- I mean with her. :) We are so thankful for her sense of humor and poor eye sight ;)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today was our first day of work. We loaded up at 7:15 to head to Coronado to the children's home. Coronado is about 40 minutes from where we are staying. We picked up our cook, Monica on the way to the home. As we got further away from the city the lot sizes became larger and we started to see homes with actual grass/yards. Our driver explained that there aren't many building regulations in Costa Rica which is why you see all kinds of whatever goes housing, but in Coronado they are a little stricter. We saw much bigger homes, homes with big front yards, yet all still gated.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bhamOM6joSw/VSyS0ZxsbXI/AAAAAAABcuI/tzpki0PE6tU/s1600/IMAG4001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bhamOM6joSw/VSyS0ZxsbXI/AAAAAAABcuI/tzpki0PE6tU/s1600/IMAG4001.jpg" height="362" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We arrived at the children's home to a gated entrance with a beautiful wall mural. Ray was there to greet us as we pulled up to the administration building. He took some time explaining the history of the children's home, all about the kids, and their hope and vision for their ministry. There were sad stories, but also stories of hope and restoration.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The site we are working on is the children's multi-purpose building. It will have a large pantry, a commercial size kitchen, large bathrooms with showers, 3 classrooms, and a large open area.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At the children's home, there are 2 homes. A boys home and a girls home. The boy's house has 12 boys and the girl's has 11 (room for one more). Some of the children attend the private Methodist school up the road and they go half a day. There is a soccer field, playground, and lots of space for them to run around. The area & view are simply beautiful!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today's work involved bricks, mud, and cement. Everyone worked extremely hard and together. We had 3 maestros - Junior, Ricardo, and Leandro.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Beverly, Melissa, Dave, and Elias all worked laying the first bricks down for the foundation. Michele and myself shoveled & sifted sand to remove the rocks. Michele and myself also helped with adding mud between the bricks that were laid. We worked for 3 hours or so then broke for lunch. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Monica and Becky prepared a wonderful lunch of salad, fish, fresh fruit, rice, refried beans, and chips. We then had little cookies and cookie wafers for dessert with more cafe (coffee). </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The cafe might be my most favorite thing here! SO good!! </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ray and Lidia ate with us and we told them about Grace UMC, our wonderful church back in Texas.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After lunch, it was time to get back to work! We started back at pouring in the cement into the block holes. Everyone help work together, carrying shovels, using the trowel to level off the cement, pushing wheelbarrows, and shoveling cement into the holes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Around 3PM, we started clean up and we were home by 4:30 or so. We were all wiped from the day! We took showers and then headed downstairs for dinner. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">House in the background is one of the homes that the children live in.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Catholic church we saw on the way up.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: start;">Tonight we had "rice of the garden" (rice mixed with meat and vegetables), black beans, cucumber & heart of palm salad, fresh avocados</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: start;"> & pineapple, and papas tostadas (potato chips). Our drink tonight was horchata- YUM!! We also had cafe after dinner...again!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We ended our night with a devotional from 1 Peter 2. Which was so fitting for today as it talked about the foundations and stones of Christ. Christ the cornerstone, our foundation and us us chosen people. We accomplished so much today with our team of 7. We were able to complete 2 rows of bricks and start on a third. We may be small, but fierce. So far, this trip has been nothing short of amazing! We've had the best time and even though our bodies will most definitely be sore tomorrow, I know I am excited to get back out and see the rest of the stones be laid. We are playing a small part in a much bigger picture. God's plan. <b>THANKS so much for the prayers!</b> Please continue to pray for working, moving bodies. Tonight, we are all thankful for HOT showers (took us a while to figure out the "suicide showers") and Advil! We are also so incredibly thankful for this opportunity and for our Costa Rican brothers and sisters. They are some of the kindest people I've ever met & in Texas we know kind when we see it. If you are interested in the ministry that Ray & Lidia do here in Costa Rica you can visit their website to find out more. http://zirkelministrycostarica.com/methodist-church/history.php</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yours truly...from Costa Rica! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>By the way, this outfit was unplanned. It started raining and my jacket just so happened to match my shoes...I like to keep it fancy even while I work ;)</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span>Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-80714724834848161412015-04-12T20:05:00.000-07:002015-04-22T21:42:15.704-07:00Costa Rica: Day 2 {Sunday}<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Good morning from Costa Rica!! I took this photo right out the front door this morning.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Day 2 of our trip is in the books and it was nothing short of amazing! We started the day off with breakfast downstairs (rice & beans, scrambled eggs, bacon, watermelon, & wheat roll) then had some time to kill before our driver would arrive to take us to church. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At 10:15 our driver, Javier picked us up in a bus/people mover. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We made our way to the central part of San Jose to where the church is located. We are actually staying in Tobias which is just about 10-20 mins from San Jose. The above photos are in the central area of San Jose and the below are on the outskirts on our way to zip line/lunch. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We met up with Lidia and her 2 daughters and walked about half a block to the first Methodist church in the country. It was built in 1917.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We found our seats and were greeted by some of the most gracious people. The entire service was in Spanish, but it was beautiful! There were a few songs we knew the tune and English words to. We tried our best to read the words printed in the bulletin. The kids from the children's home also were there and sat in the 2 pews in front of us. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: center;">They are all SO insanely precious!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Worshiping in a different language was quite beautiful. And the people here are so passionate about their faith. They also had the cutest man leading worship and his joy was contagious. I took a video of him singing and will post it to YouTube whenever the WiFi will let me.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Restaurant where we had lunch. It was down at the bottom of the mountain from where we zip lined.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After church, we loaded back up and headed to the place where we would zip line and have lunch. We had another delicious meal of Costa Rican food.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once we got done eating, we changed our clothes and hopped into the back of a little truck that took us up the mountain a little way. It was a rough ride! They unloaded us off with our 2 guides. We had to walk the rest of the way up. It was a crazy, steep trek up the mountain. We had many pit stops along the way! We all realized just how in shape we really in ;) but Becky wins the award for most awesome climber! She was a trooper for sure!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hallelujah! We made it to the TOP landing platform!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our guides were Diego and Juan. They were so patient and kind with us! After they give us our instructions we were set to go. I was the first one to go! I am brave like that ;)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We ended up doing 13 different cables. The longest was roughly 1500 feet or 500 meters. We all encouraged each other, cheered each other on, and laughed so much together. It was beyond amazing!</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of our guides, Diego telling us about the 3 most important volcanoes in CR.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elias going down.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Amazing crew! Melissa, Dave, myself, Beverly, Becky, Michele, and Elias.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The views of Costa Rica when zip lining were incredible! It was truly an unbelievable experience!! It was definitely hard work but so awesome. We got back to the Wesley House around 5:30 and dinner was at 6pm. Maruja fixed another delicious meal of fish, mashed potatoes, salad, mixed vegetables, and fried plantains. After dinner we had devotion time, then down time. Everyone is wiped for our day's adventures. Tomorrow, our real work starts - bright & early! Breakfast will be served at 6am and then we'll head to the children's home to work. We are eager to get started and know God will be right along side us as we serve His people tomorrow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Day 2 is in the books and God's glory shined so bright today! Thanks for praying for us.</span></div>
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Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-80555224148535170692015-04-11T21:13:00.001-07:002015-04-22T21:42:00.156-07:00Costa Rica: Day 1 {Saturday: Arrival}<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>We have arrived in Costa Rica!</b> We arrived today around 1:15pm (so 2:15 US time) and we were greeted by our driver, Javier. We had an uneventful flight (thankfully!), well except for the fly in my $8 sandwich.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He loaded up our luggage, all 11 suitcases and we piled into the van with our carry ons & backpacks. We were tight and cozy!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Javier took us to an authentic Costa Rican restaurant where we stuffed ourselves silly. We asked Javier and our waitress what they recommended. We got 2 big as Texas platters to share family style. We also ordered tamales!! And we had the most delicious drinks! I had a soursop with milk and Michele and Elias tried a drink called a cas. Both 2 fruit type drinks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The restaurant was an open air restaurant, basically at the edge of the a tree line. At one point the electricity went out but no one was alarmed or panic, just went on as if nothing ever happened. The restaurant is also owned by a Pastor so all throughout the bathrooms was prophecy type scripture signs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After a late lunch, we headed to the Wesley House where we will call home for the week. The photos below were taken just right around the corner from the Wesley House. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We made our way through towards San Jose and just took in the sights. We all agreed to ride with the windows open to help Javier save gas. I think we all enjoyed the breeze and fresh air. It also allowed for us to really see the little shops, those walking their dogs, walking from the mall, and see all the trash that litters the roads. Almost every thing (homes included) is beyond bars, locks, and fencing. There are fresh fruit stands on corners with the biggest mangoes I've ever seen! We saw little pizza shops, Subway, Hooters, GNC, and even a Wal-Mart! We also saw gorgeous flowers and trees (lots of coffee bean trees) as we drove around the city. Below is a photo of a HUGE rubber tree, the kind in the US you find in people's offices or homes. Okay, but only MUCH smaller!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lidia greeted us at the gate and was beyond gracious with her hospitality. We all found our rooms and got somewhat settled before it was time to eat again. We're in a 3 story type building. The bottom level is where Maruja, our adorable cook makes our delicious meals and where we will dine for breakfast and dinner. We sleep above the "dining hall" and then there is a 3rd level that no one has been brave enough to explore. We have a common area with a big room with couches and then the rooms surround the common area.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Michele is lucky enough that she gets to bunk in the room with myself and Becky. She is so excited! ;)</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A volcano. There are over 100 volcanoes in Costa Rica.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For dinner tonight, Maruja fixed us rice, beans, chicken breast with "aromatics" (onions & bell peppers), black beans, a fresh salad topped with tomatoes, avocados & lemon juice, served with fresh papaya. She also had iced tea for us. It was really yummy!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After dinner, she offered to make us "cafe" aka coffee and I am here to tell you, it was beyond heavenly! She offered us leche too. She served us our cafe in fine china coffee cups. It was the perfect treat to end our first day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tomorrow will be Sunday so we will have breakfast then head down to the local Methodist church for worship. After worship, we'll head out for brunch and then to zip line. I can't wait! </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's been a long day of traveling, but we have been so blessed with laughs, amazing food, a safe flight, and great fellowship. Tonight, we go to bed with full hearts and anticipation of what the week will bring. The air has a chill in it and we hear the sounds of cars/motorcycles buzzing by, honking, and dogs barking. From the front door, we can see the lights of the city and the steam/ash from the volcano</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> in the distance and we know God is good. Faithful to this call.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our amazing </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">team! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Praying for God to move mighty this week as we love on the kids at the home and work for the goodness of God. Pray this week forever changes us and those we come in contact with!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">MUCHO AMOR from Costa Rica!!!!</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535289787019062385.post-20054330304151742542015-04-09T11:44:00.001-07:002015-04-09T22:20:34.169-07:00Lacking Nothing<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I should be packing for Costa Rica or cleaning my house or doing laundry. I am set to leave on Satuday for Costa Rica for seven days. For my first mission trip.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's something I've been anxious about. While I want to be excited about it, I can admit I am a little fearful how it will change me. I know I can't come back the same person I currently am. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Change in the flesh is scary. But change in the spirit is even scarier to me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because when you are changed in the spirit, you no longer can live the same way as you did before.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My eyes can't un-see things once they have been seen them. Whether good or bad.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My heart can't undo the things it has experienced or seen.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Like how being a mother has changed me in more ways than I could have imagined. While my body physically changed, my heart and spirit has changed the most.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This past week has been a roller coaster in regards to my mom. She was set to begin her clinical trial this week. A routine biopsy landed her in the ER at M.D. Anderson. Which then lead to being admitted into the hospital.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tuesday afternoon, we headed to Houston while I sent out flares to my prayer warriors.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course, a million things went through my mind as we headed to Houston. I tried to let go of my fear. I tried to find my footing in an unknown situation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When we arrived at the ER room, mom was having an episode of uncontrollable shakes/chills, high heart rate, and low oxygen.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I leaned over her and began to pray. Asking His spirit to fill that place, to make her whole. To make her new. To breathe new life into her heart and soul.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Her shaking became less obvious and her vitals started to even out. I sat on the edge of her bed continuing to ask for His spirit to pour into that small room. Filling every square inch. Lacking nothing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then I thanked Him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanked Him for the chaos and unknown.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanked Him for loving my mom and us so much, that He would even endure death so we could live.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While I tried to hold back tears, tears rolled down my cheeks and I knew that from here on out, none of us would ever be the same.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He is constantly calling us to change. To leave the former things behind while making things new.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Change is necessary.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My mom can't remain the same. I can't remain the same. We can't remain the same. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For it's in the deeps of souls He urges us to change.</i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He urges us to die to ourselves in order to live for Him. Die to the old, where fruit is no longer plentiful.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We simply can't be the same as we were before or the Cross would be lost.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just as my upcoming trip to Costa Rica will stretch me and change me, this too is stretching me and my family. I used to think that the person I was, was just who I would be. I'm learning now that this person I am now, will look different as my relationship with Christ evolves.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He never intended for me to simply just be. Or for any of us to just be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can't change without suffering.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Suffering is where we learn to die to ourselves and cling to Him. It's in our sufferings we are able to sort through the places in our heart and soul that cause us to doubt, be fearful, or feel hopeless.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's the place where our faith meets the road. Or at the bedside of a hospital bed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The road where we can either pick up the Cross and follow Him or pick up our worldly baggage and continue to walk a life of uncertainty. Focusing on the impossible, instead of what His word tells us about how He can do the impossible.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That we shouldn't be afraid for He's already conquered death.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If we traveled through this life without pain, then we wouldn't have to follow Him. Or need Him for that matter. I am learning that it's through our pain we are able to birth new life. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's where the change happens. Total transformation. The old dies away and the new begins to grow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But the old can't die without enduring the suffering.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And He can't display His glory without suffering.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The greatest suffering ever known was done on the Cross. And it was done for His glory.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can't see His glory without the suffering. He can't reveal Himself to us in ways like never before without it.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4399995803833px; font-style: italic;">"God you pursue me with power and glory</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4399995803833px; font-style: italic;">Unstoppable Love that never ends</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4399995803833px; font-style: italic;">You’re unrelenting with passion and mercy"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This week has been a true test. Thankfully, nothing can separate us from His love.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My mom has written on a post-it hanging in her kitchen window that says, "Turn every test into a testimony."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our faith has been tested. Our worries, doubts, and fears tested. Our patience tested. Our flesh tested.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We've prayed hard. We've searched for hope at every corner.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We have discussed details over lab results, CT scan results, blood work, and honestly none of those things add up. But what does add up, is His mercy and kindness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He has meet us every step of the way. He has held us, sustained us, and rescued us. Even before we knew we needed rescuing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He has filled His with Spirit, filling every inch of our souls. Like flowing water...He quenches our thirst. Our hope restored.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Showing His glory in amazing ways.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This morning mom will receive blood due to low hemoglobin levels.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He will breath new life into her. New crimson blood.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's like Easter all over again for us. His blood poured out for us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Making us, my mom new. <b>Whole.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lacking nothing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The gift He gave us on the Cross - redemption through His blood. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We exchange the old, for new.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I almost can't contain myself for the change my family is experiencing. Without the struggles this week, we wouldn't have experienced such glory. We wouldn't have been able to rest in knowing regardless what changes here on earth, You Jesus remain the same.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That You own the moon and stars. That You hold mom in the palm in your hand. While she is SO precious to us, she is even more precious to You. She's your beloved child, adorned with your righteousness. You created her and have loved her at her darkest. You have called her to the depths of the ocean, where she is learning to find her footing. Where she is learning to trust without borders. Where she is learning to weave this test into a beautiful testimony. Where you are changing her, in order to change this world for your Kingdom - for your glory.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mom has said from the beginning, she feels honored He chose her for such a time as this. I can't think of a more courageous stance to take.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So while change is scary and uncomfortable at times, we know that THIS change is what will bring redemption and transformation. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">His blood runs through our veins, changing and restoring us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">May He continue to change us while being our constant, steadfast peace. The hope that anchors our soul.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lacking nothing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We thank you, Jesus for the change that is manifesting through this test. Our hearts are overwhelmed with your love for us that is freely given to us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We thank you, Jesus for your valiant warrior who I am beyond honored to call my mother. And you call your precious child, daughter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She embodies what it means to take up the Cross and follow. You weave us with your love, making us new, lacking nothing.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another." 2 Corinthians 3:18</i></span></span></div>
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Nancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08193538355686898881noreply@blogger.com0