At this very moment, my mom is meeting with her oncologist to over CT scan results. They are routine every 8 weeks to check progress. But for whatever reason, she and other seem to think this will be different. This one will determine what is next.
I had decided early on that I would not go to the appointment. And even had I wanted to go, it wouldn't have been possible since I've been sick. God's plans are always greater than ours. So instead of being there physically this morning, I am there spiritually. My heart and spirit is stirring this morning as I cling tight to what I know is true.
My reasoning for not going to the appointment, while I would have went for support for my mom, dad, and sister - I just felt it wasn't necessary. Mostly because for me - I already know who gets the victory. Who wins this battle.
Whether mom lives or dies, I know she wins either way. That's the beautiful thing about this and about our suffering.
We are victorious because of Him. He is our victory.
Not matter what the doctor reports may say. No matter what we are faced against.
Romans 8 brings me so much comfort this morning. There is SO much truth in How we live through His spirit. Yes, we are weak but He is strong. How we are more than conquerors.
"If God is for us, who can be against us? He did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for all- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" Romans 8:31-32
He calls us to be courageous. He calls us to be bold. He calls us to do the impossible.
I used to think He called us to hard things before my mom's diagnosis. I mean hard things I can semi handle on my own, right? Hard doesn't necessarily require full surrender.
But yet the impossible requires total surrender. He wants to be the one who gets the glory!
Only He can do the impossible. Only He can fix the impossible. Only He can heal the impossible. Only He can defy the odds.
Being faced with the impossible at first can seem so daunting. But when we fix our eyes are Him, instead of the mountain that stands before us - anything is possible.
So this morning, I can sing His praises because of the work He is doing through her and through this.
I can cling to knowing our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18)
What glory it will be! What glory it has already been!!
My mom has stood in oceans deep that is for sure. He has called her into the deepest waters, where His grace abounds in ways we can't even express.
And she may continue to stand in oceans deep while she fights for however long...but we know that there is so much beauty in the refining process.
I often say, I can't wait to see where this road leads to. Yes, while it's not always pleasant and sometimes painful to experience - I know it is nothing short of the glory that will be revealed.
And that actually excites me for what is to come. I go back to when my mom was first diagnosed and she said to me through tears..."it's like God has pushed me out of the boat and said okay, let's go and do my work! And I am so jazzed to see what He is going to do through this."
Tears filled my eyes.
I can only hope if I'm faced with incurable cancer one day, I have that kind of bravery.
So mom no matter what news we hear today - remember what it felt like when you said those words. Remember you are more than a conqueror.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
So while cancer, chemo, and all the things that come along w/ this awful disease sucks, we know we serve a God much stronger and bigger than any doctor's report.
We know He is for us and we praise in Him for carrying us thus far.
We've seen miracle after miracle in the last ALMOST 7 months. That's right, they didn't expect you to live past 6 months and here we are...past the 6 month mark and you are not only alive, but thriving. You are making waves in your fight. You are taking back what the enemy has tried to take.
And for that we lift our hands and voices...for no matter the news today - we already know the outcome.
Victory through Him and through us. Victory through you, mom.
Mom, you inspire SO many through this. You inspire me to dig even further into my faith. To press into Him even more. To cling to not the things of this world, but to eternal things. You are a living vessel of what it means to be his servant - to say yes to the impossible. Because you are willing to do anything in this life to bring Him glory...even if it means fighting a cancer that may take your life. You are so loved! Keep your boxing gloves up, but also know He will carry, sustain, and rescue you when you need a break.
As Aunt Judy says, there are no gaps! Because we already know who wins this battle.
So with hands lifted high this morning...we give God thanks for the impossible. For bringing us to our knees where He can meet us like never before.
And we give thanks for victory in Jesus.
"No, in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height or depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39
There's an army rising up and it is nothing short of fierce. So bring on the impossible for we for know if God is for us, no one can be against us.
He created us for the impossible and the impossible is where He meets us face to face. The impossible is where God gets the glory, not man or our flesh. Isn't that what He designed us for - to bring Him glory? To let Him work through and in us for the sake of His kingdom?
I often tell mom, what a force to be reckoned with after she comes out of this...what a testimony she will have. Already has. If I was Satan, I'd be running for the hills ;)
Believing, praising, and flooding the gates of heaven with worship for what God is doing through the impossible.
Because y'all He can do the impossible and for that we are victorious, no matter what we are told today.
"We sign hallelujah...the lamb has overcome."