A Grateful Heart

I have SO much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. But while I am so very thankful for all the blessings I have such as:

- an incredible husband who loves me regardless of my faults, insecurities, & well all those crazy moments I have
- a mom and dad that have showed me what it means to love, fight for each other, and never give up on each other (they just celebrated 35 years of marriage & have built a life most envy)
- my brothers & sister (who I don't see often enough but I do think about them often)
- all of my family and friends
- all my nieces and nephews (being an aunt is such a wonderful blessing)
- for the trials & struggles I do face
- for God's mercy and grace
- for knowing there is no problem too big for my God
- that I live in America, home of the free
- for our soldiers who fight so bravely so that I may have my freedom
- and because I have a place to go home for Thanksgiving to fellowship, laugh, hug family members, watch Aggie football (btho tu!), and eat a ridiculous amount of food.

But as Thanksgiving approaches my heart is heavy for those who are less fortunate, who don't have family to fellowship with, for the families who are struggling financially and may not be able to afford a Thanksgiving feast or have had a recent lay-off, families who are homeless, families who are without food, for the elderly & widowed, for others who are struggling with depression and the uncertainty of what is to come...

So while we are going here and there, cooking, visiting - I ask that you please don't forget the ones who are in need of HOPE this Thanksgiving. Without HOPE, there is nothing. Hope is the foundation of which faith is built upon. I urge you to really look in your "store-house" and see what tools you have that can help give someone HOPE this Thanksgiving & Christmas season.

Be a light into this world...as Jesus is a lamp into our path.

May you have a very Blessed & Happy Thanksgiving!
And may the AGGIES beat the hell outta t.u.!

Break-down to break-through

Yesterday was a pretty rough day for me. Seems like lately all I've been doing is pouring my heart and soul out to my Heavenly Father...yet I feel so alone and lost. There are days I wonder does He really hear me, does He notice me, when will He show us face amidst the chaos, when will I look back and say "I finally understand!" I know God has great things in store and planned for me and my life but some days it is so hard to see that beyond all the trials I am struggling with. I know He writes the story of my life and I can't wait to see what my story will be - actually I can't wait for others to read my story and see the love of Jesus that resonates inside me. And I realize that the trials I face are not personal and that I am not the only one that faces these trails but some days, like yesterday that just bring me to well honestly...a break-down. But thankfully His mercies are new each morning! At first, I was ashamed of what I was feeling yesterday...like I was being a baby and not just bucking up to my problems and pressing on - BUT this is how God is working in me. I honestly feel like He is saying, Nancy - all these things you think you need to make it in this world (money, job, a new car, material things) are NOT the things you need, all you need is ME! Allen and I both feel like we are at the end of our rope, we honestly don't know what is next or we don't know when we'll make it the top of OUR mountain. All we do know is that God has never not taken care of us and I know He is not going to stop now. I am finding that having a break-down is not such a bad thing - it's actually like a break-through...for me anyway.

In Luke (Chapter 8: 40-48) there is a parable of a women who had been bleeding for 12 years, she pushed through the crowd, touched the hem of Jesus' cloak/garment and was healed. If you don't know the story, I urge you to go read it. It's incredibly story of faith. Well, lately that story has been on my mind and I think God is saying "Don't give up! Reach out and touch me...keep pushing through...don't let anyone hold you back...have the kind of faith that this women had. The kind of faith that is bold and courageous!" All the while, I am scared/afraid/fearful for reasons I don't know or can't explain.

In my search for more on this story, I found this...
"When I think about this story, I am amazed by this woman's faith. It is a pushy faith. An elbow-my-way and don't-take-no-for-an-answer faith. It is a faith that doesn't quit. Jesus is seeking to produce in you and me the kind of faith that motivated the hemorrhaging woman to touch the hem of his garment. But if we aren't quite there yet, he is entirely willing to prop up and encourage our faith until it can grow some more.

Faith is often expressed in us at that raw, growing edge of life that is acquainted with fear but not overcome by it. Our woman has spent twelve years in sickness, embarrassment, and frustration. But she has pushed through. She has just been powerfully and instantly healed, and she is aware of the healing. The next moment Jesus stops, asks "Who touched me?" and she is trembling again. How true to life.

Dear child of God, Jesus loves you and is fully aware of the vulnerability of your faith. But he is encouraging you to take courage, put your fears aside, and "go for it." If you falter, he is by your side and he will help you. He is teaching you to trust in him. And he says to you, as he said to the sick woman who pushed through her fears, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go forward in peace."

Oh, wow! I think that was meant/written for me. He never ceases me to amaze me! I love love love the last paragraph!

While yesterday I was having a "break-down" (so I thought) today it turned into a "break-through." I would NOT change of any my hard days or struggles for anything in this world. For I know, this is the process I must go through in order to be molded into His image. I am constantly reminded that He is the author of my life and I shouldn't be afraid because even if I fall, His promise remains the same.

"My life's like an open book, nothing is hidden when you look. You break through my boundaries revealing my insecurities. But through my pride and through my shame, You show me love, You show me grace. I'm not looking back till I see your face. And I'm running straight to you because all I really want to do is fall into the emptiness that is, the space in-between us..." ~Lyrics of "The Space In Between Us" by Building 429

Welcome to this world...

So LOTS has happened in the past week. Seems like forever since I has posted and I have so much catching up to do.

We now have a new member of our family, sweet Miss Ella! Ella was born Monday, November 9th 2009 and she is so tiny and so precious! Joe is now a BIG brother! Ella is our 4th niece and we are so glad she is here, safe & sound. There is nothing on this earth like holding a brand new baby! We are so thankful for the gift of life and for Ella.

We Love You Ella! Your Uncle Allen and Aunt Nancy "Nonni" couldn't be more excited to have a new precious niece! Nonni can't wait to play dress up with you, take you shopping, and buy you all kinds of fun, PINK girl stuff.


"A baby is God's way of saying the world should go on..."

Faithful Fridays

While I am currently struggling with finding a job, financial burdens, stress of the Holidays coming up, wondering when He will answer my cries of help, and honestly being selfish because I feel like I "need" all the things everyone else has or what society tells us we should have. I don't think anyway or I know I don't truly "need" anything. I have more stuff than my little house can even fit. The real truth is there are people in this world who don't have the comfy bed I sleep in every night, don't have running water to take a shower OR bath- whichever we wish to take, or electricity (and yet we panic when the electricity goes out for minutes during a thunder storm), nor clean clothes or even a pair of shoes (I am ashamed at the number of shoes I have)...my point is that while I've been SO busy with my own concerns/wants/needs - there are so many people who have so little yet still have greater faith than which I do. Joyce Meyer says faith is deposited in the spirit. Faith is a force that comes out of the spirit, and it can accomplish great things, but faith must be released to be of value. Releasing our faith can be so difficult...but why, why do we not listen to Him when is trying to tell us to cling to Him, have faith! Jesus tells us in Luke 5:4 "Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch" I love that!

It's time to lower our nets into the deep waters of our souls, not in the shallow, safe part of the water (where I admit I am & have been) but into the deep unknown waters...essentially we have to leave the shallow places of your own soul (what we think and feel) for the the deeper life in God...what we know deep down inside.

It is so sad we are almost clueless to how good we have it. I am almost ashamed that I take so many things I have for granted, yet I still want "more, more, more." My blogging friend, Tammy over at My Heart...His Words helps an orphanage in Romania and after reading their story, I thought to myself what is wrong with me, I have been so ungrateful. Click HERE to read their story. Tammy and I have never met but I follow her blog and have been so touched by her words...if you can can help in ANY way, please do! You can email her at tammynischan@yahoo.com or email me at mrsnancyb@gmail.com

"Blessed are you poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be filled. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy! For indeed your reward is great in heaven." Luke 6:20-21, 23

Fearless

What fear is holding you back? I know lots of fear is looming over at our house...I read this over at (In)Courage and was blown away. I am going today to buy Max Lucado's new book Fearless. I actually attend bible study at Max Lucado's church and have seen the book but never really paid attention it when I walk by the bookstore, okay maybe it's more like I saw it but thought that doesn't apply to me. Hahaha, boy was I wrong! (In)Courage has some wonderful, encouraging posts. I highly recommend subscribing to it.

Joe-O-Lantern

I hope everyone had a Happy Halloween! Allen's parents were in town over the weekend and we spent Halloween over at The Wilson's with Mr. Cutie himself, Joe Cool. Saturday morning, we had a fun-filled morning carving pumpkins. Cadee and I both hadn't carved a pumpkin in years but I think our pumpkins turned out GREAT! Joe was a great helper! He liked flinging the pumpkin guts around...ha! He is all boy! They looked so good lit up on the sidewalk to greet all the trick-or-treaters. It was fun to see all the kids dressed up and I think Joe really enjoyed seeing them all. Lots of scary little kids/costumes! We had a good weekend but I am excited November is here...Thanksgiving and Christmas are my favorite holidays/time of year! We have a busy 2 months coming up between birthdays, babies, and holidays but I can't wait!

Joe will be a BIG brother soon! We are so excited and can't wait to meet Miss Ella!!