Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Amazed by my Maker

So I have never doubted that I am blessed. But for some reason these last few days or weeks, I have felt an enormous burst of blessings. I even told AB that I wasn't sure if it was hormones or what but gosh I can't seem to make it through the day without just be so humbled with thankfulness. It's almost too much to even put into words.

I have never felt more humbled in my life than I have now.

My eyes are filled with tears when I think of the life that I've been given.

It is as if I am seeing Jesus in a whole new light.

Yes, while I know soon my life will be forever changed but it is as if God is already starting to mold/shape my heart for what is to come.

I will be perfectly honest - in the beginning, I was not all that thrilled when I found out I was pregnant. Mostly because I was scared of miscarrying and I did not want to go through all that pain again. I also had told myself for months I didn't really want kids anymore, mostly due to the fear of not being able to. Also, the timing of it was not right. I did not want a December baby. Our anniversary is in December, there's Christmas, my in-laws anniversary is in December, & my mother-in-laws birthday is also in December. And let's not forget I am a teacher & I was hoping if I did get pregnant, it would be closer to summer. ALL things of which I thought could control.

God had a much different plan and idea. And he is making it very clear, that there is no greater plan than His.

The funny thing is...Christmas is my most favorite time of year! I love the weather. I love that it's about the birth of Jesus, a savior sent to save the souls of man. I love all the lights, trees, and decorations. I love being around food & family. I love that giddy-ness I get when it's Christmas. I love Christmas eve church service. I love it all!

But now I'll be blessed with the birth of my own child and while I'm sure he will not be thrilled about having his birthday so close to Christmas, I know after this year - Christmas time will never be the same for me.

Just another reminder that Christmas truly isn't about what's under the tree, but yet what's wrapped in our hearts.

The most amazing thing about all of that before I was even born, He had all of these orchestrated for my life. He has known my whole life, where I would be at this moment in time. And just as Brady continues to grow inside the womb, I know God has every part of his life mapped out. He knew my baby before I ever, even thought of having him. Which AMAZES me! It also brings me to my knees with a grateful heart. How do you ever give thanks enough for not only blessing you with a child but also knowing and loving me in such a way?

He doesn't just love me, but He adores me...He wants only the best for me. Just as I know he loves Brady, adores him, and wants nothing but the best for him...before he even existed.

He has left no stone unturned. He has had every detail in place before I even existed. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Ohh, my soul...

He amazes me!

"I have a Maker. Before my heart, before even time began, my life was in His hands. He calls me His own. He knows my name. He knows my every thought & He hears me when I call..."

1 comment:

  1. Beautifully written. My Sam was born in November and I tell ya, it's a truly beautiful thing to be holding your own baby boy at Christmas. You'll love it!