I am probably one of the most indecisive persons around. Decision-making is not my strong suit. Placing an order at a restaurant can be an ordeal, actually picking where I want to eat is even more of an ordeal - just ask my husband. And when I am in rush it is even worse.
Ahem. Makes me just sweaty thinking about it.
So when big, life-changing decisions are staring straight in front of me...you can only imagine how I deal with it. Or don't deal with it, would be the more appropriate way to describe it.
Without going into too much detail, I am currently at a fork in the road in my life. Which means a decision has to be made. Go left, go right?
The thing about my fork in the road is that either way I chose, there is no "wrong" way. Both ways have their advantages and disadvantages, making this decision even more difficult.
Another reason that makes this decision difficult is my number one nemesis: FEAR.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of missing out on opportunities that cannot be replaced.
Fear of making the "wrong" decision, even though there isn't a wrong decision.
Fear of not getting a do-over.
Fear that life will pass me by and I won't be able to go back.
Fear of making a selfish decision.
It seems that time and time again, fear is what holds me back. Fear is what paralyzes me. Even when I know fear is not of my Heavenly Father and if I claim to be his child then I am not of fear. So yet why does it rear its ugly head?
Is it because I let it or is because it is God's way of reminding me...He is in control!
You see it's like this...THIS fork in my life isn't just a decision to be made but yet another chance to fully give myself to His will and purpose for my little ol' life.
To stop and listen. To stop and seek Him first above all else. To stop and bask in the glory of Him.
Knowing He has a perfect plan and direction for me...it's just up to me to stop and just BE.
And it is these moments in my life, I feel His presence and grace more than ever. And it couldn't be sweeter.
Just like my momma wants the best for me. And just like I want the best for Brady. I know Jesus only wants the best for me.
And I couldn't be more thankful for this fork in the road.
Guess that's the reason why He placed this on my heart the morning I was being induced, the day that changed my heart and life, the day I became a mommy.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.