Tuesday, January 8, 2013

I'm tired, I'm worn...

Today got the best of me.  It wasn't my finest, shining moment.  But it ended ever so sweet.

As I rocked, swayed, and did whatever it took to get Brady to sleep tonight this song came over his radio speakers.

And it was what I needed to let go and forgive myself for the way I had acted earlier.  For I often carry around a pity-party or guilt after I've so-called "lost it!"

Since he was born, he's had music on in his room and it's either on K-Love or the other local Christian radio station.  He loves music and I hope the songs of worship will seep into his little body and he will soak up God's goodness.  

But tonight it was clearly ministering to me and I allowed myself to break down walls that I've built up.

To let redemption win.

And I'm sure it's not coincidence that as soon as the song started and I started singing it through tears...Brady fell gently to sleep.  In my arms.

Which hardly ever happens these days.

I hugged him a little tighter, told him I was sorry for being impatient and how much I loved him.

Then just let the tears fall...

Because as a mother...I'm worn even before the day begins.

 Thank you Lord for pouring out your mercies even when we don't deserve it.

The eternal God is your refuge,
    and underneath are the everlasting arms.
He will drive out your enemy before you,
    saying, ‘Destroy him!’
-Deuteronomy 33:27

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